I weent to a youth leaders' conference today at a church on Tesson Ferry by Youth Specialties. It wass a great time; not only did I buy a lot of books and learn a lot of stuff, but I learned about Compassion International's Bite Back campaign. Their goal is to help get rid of Malaria on the African continent by supplying bug nets and education to as many people as they can. For only $10, you help provide a net, education on the prevention, and medical treatment for those afflicted. All you have to do to donate is CLICK HERE.
$10. That's a night at the movies.
Think about it.
Mar 29, 2008
Mar 23, 2008
Happy Easter!
Christ the Lord is risen today, Aaaaaaaa-le-lu-ia.
That's one of the songs we sing in church every Easter Sunday. If you sing it at your shuch you know that the song is crazy high. That fact is probably the only thing I don't like about Easter: All our songs are freakin' high!! I'm actually not singing set during worship this morning 'cause i have a powerhouse solo after the sermon and I want to deliver. :-)
I remember when I was a kid, waking up and going to look for Easter eggs in the backyard. The "Easter Bunny" had hidden them in the night, and there wass almost always, without a doubt, one on top of our old, rusty shed that I could always see from my parents' bedroom window. But, of course, I was too small and my giant of a father would have to either lift me up to get it or get it for me. I also remember going to an Easter Parade downtown -- barely, though; I think most of that memory comes from a picture we have of me waving to the Easter Bunny.
But my favoroite memory was my first real Easter. The first where I truly believed that my Lord and Savior had indeed died and then risen on the third day. Only those of you who have gone through that really know what I'm talking about. It's like my first real Christmas. The whole day just takes on a new light because of faith in Jesus. So today, as you're celebrating, remember the real reason. It's not the eggs and the candy and the cute little animals associated with it like this (even though they are soooo cute!!):
It's the amazing love and grace that God has for every single one of us. He loves us so much that He came to earth as a human being and took on every single one of our sins.
Hallelujah, indeed.
That's one of the songs we sing in church every Easter Sunday. If you sing it at your shuch you know that the song is crazy high. That fact is probably the only thing I don't like about Easter: All our songs are freakin' high!! I'm actually not singing set during worship this morning 'cause i have a powerhouse solo after the sermon and I want to deliver. :-)
I remember when I was a kid, waking up and going to look for Easter eggs in the backyard. The "Easter Bunny" had hidden them in the night, and there wass almost always, without a doubt, one on top of our old, rusty shed that I could always see from my parents' bedroom window. But, of course, I was too small and my giant of a father would have to either lift me up to get it or get it for me. I also remember going to an Easter Parade downtown -- barely, though; I think most of that memory comes from a picture we have of me waving to the Easter Bunny.
But my favoroite memory was my first real Easter. The first where I truly believed that my Lord and Savior had indeed died and then risen on the third day. Only those of you who have gone through that really know what I'm talking about. It's like my first real Christmas. The whole day just takes on a new light because of faith in Jesus. So today, as you're celebrating, remember the real reason. It's not the eggs and the candy and the cute little animals associated with it like this (even though they are soooo cute!!):
It's the amazing love and grace that God has for every single one of us. He loves us so much that He came to earth as a human being and took on every single one of our sins.
Hallelujah, indeed.
Mar 20, 2008
Apparently, I was tagged... Twice.
I never know when people comment on my stuff. I just always thought people read it but then didn't leave any comments. ha ha. Imagine my surprise when I saw that I was tagged (TWICE, no less) about a week and a half ago. I wasn't ignoring it, folks. Just didn't notice. So here are the rules when you get tagged: Link to the person who tagged you. Post the rules on your blog. Share seven random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog. Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs. Leave a comment on their blogs so that they know they have been tagged! I was tagged by both
Amanda and Abi. (Holla to the STLWed Girls!!) SO I guess that means I have double duty... Can I eve think of 14 things? We'll see...
1. I am amazingly calm about this whole wedding thing. Like, I know I should be freaking out about how the heck we're going to pay for everything, but we keep finding connections and keep getting offered free services by friends, and I know that God is so good and He will provide for all our expenses.
2. I have been going too the same campf or 16 years. Most people who have known me for a long time know this about me. but did you know that I'm terrified to stop? It's like an addiction -- a good addication, mind you, but an addication nonetheless. It has helped mold me into who I've become and I've met some of my best friends there that leaving that whole chapter of my life behind scares the Hell out of me.
3. I desperately want to go to seminary for a Master's in theology. I want to be youth cooordinator at my church and plan all the events and stuff. It's funny to hear me say this when 6 years ago when I was a youth I didn't even trust int he Lord. It's amazing the wonders He can work in your life, isn't it?
4. I secretly dream to be in a Christian rock band ont he bass guitar and vocals. Shh. Don't tell anyone.
5. On top of my dreams to be a teacher, youth pastor, and Christian recording artist, I want to be a mom. I know I can't handle it now financially, but I want a baby. Seriously. Anytime you need a sitter, let me know.
6. Even though I want to be a mom, I'm terrified I'll be a terrible one. I'm good with the infants and the toddlers, but what happens when they get older? I ahve a hard time entertaining them at that age. And I don't want to be a mom who just shoves her kids in front of the TV all the time, but sometimes when I babysit I'm glad for some peace and quiet while the kids' minds melt. (I'm a terrible person!)
7. I love Guitar Hero. I don't think this helps my rock star dreams one bit. I really wish they would release a CHristian Rock pack. That would be sweet!
8. I'm mostly secure with my body. I know I could lose a few pounds (and I would love to get rid of the mountains that are my breasts) but it's not too bad. I love my hair (when it's straight), I don't have an acne problem, and I'm comfortable with that overlap of my two front teeth.
9. Up until David's death this week, I have never experienced the death of a friend. The few people I've known who died were old and sick and it was almost a relief that they died. But with David, who was so young and such a good guy, it's hard for me ot deal with because it's such a new experience. (I mean, my dog died in September and that was hard, but I didn't feel as awful as I do about david because BG was old and sick...)
10. I have a tendency to get stuck on movies or sonogs or TV shows or books. I mean obsessive stuck. I'll listen to a new CD over and over and over. With a TV show that I really love, like Gilmore Girls, I will buy eveyr season ono DVD and have it all memorized. YOu could ask me a question about when something happened and I will be like, "It's in episode so and so when such and such was going on." It's terrible. (For example, I'm currently obsessed with Sara Bareilles' "Love Song") See the video here (unfortunately the actual video can't be embedded, so here she is on Craig Ferguson:
11. I am a picky eater. not terribly picky, but I don't like my foods to touch. I haven't touch fish (other than tuna salad) since I was ten and cut into a piece of fish and it was BLUE inside, I hate broccoli becacuse it stinks, and I woon't eat things like peas or beans because the texture grosses me out.
12. I really really really want to have a Habitat honeymoon and go down to Louisiana and build some houses after I get married. How cool woudl that be??
13. I love how close my roommate and I are with our suitemates. I'm 3 years oolder than all of them, too, which is another reason why our bond surprises me. I'm liek the big sister. They've really beent here for me, too, the last few days, when I've needed someone to talk to when I start crying out of no where.
14. I'm very surprised that STLWed girls actually read my blog. SOmetimes I feel like I"m not part of that whole group other than posting, which is mostly my fault 'cause I never make it to the gt togethers. But the few comments I have on here are from the girls. (I guess Google Reader really helps, too!)
I have no idea who I'm going to tag. I would hate to tag someone who has already been tagged, but here we go: Heather, Carrie, Rhonda, Sarah, Christie, Melissa, and Brigid.
Amanda and Abi. (Holla to the STLWed Girls!!) SO I guess that means I have double duty... Can I eve think of 14 things? We'll see...
1. I am amazingly calm about this whole wedding thing. Like, I know I should be freaking out about how the heck we're going to pay for everything, but we keep finding connections and keep getting offered free services by friends, and I know that God is so good and He will provide for all our expenses.
2. I have been going too the same campf or 16 years. Most people who have known me for a long time know this about me. but did you know that I'm terrified to stop? It's like an addiction -- a good addication, mind you, but an addication nonetheless. It has helped mold me into who I've become and I've met some of my best friends there that leaving that whole chapter of my life behind scares the Hell out of me.
3. I desperately want to go to seminary for a Master's in theology. I want to be youth cooordinator at my church and plan all the events and stuff. It's funny to hear me say this when 6 years ago when I was a youth I didn't even trust int he Lord. It's amazing the wonders He can work in your life, isn't it?
4. I secretly dream to be in a Christian rock band ont he bass guitar and vocals. Shh. Don't tell anyone.
5. On top of my dreams to be a teacher, youth pastor, and Christian recording artist, I want to be a mom. I know I can't handle it now financially, but I want a baby. Seriously. Anytime you need a sitter, let me know.
6. Even though I want to be a mom, I'm terrified I'll be a terrible one. I'm good with the infants and the toddlers, but what happens when they get older? I ahve a hard time entertaining them at that age. And I don't want to be a mom who just shoves her kids in front of the TV all the time, but sometimes when I babysit I'm glad for some peace and quiet while the kids' minds melt. (I'm a terrible person!)
7. I love Guitar Hero. I don't think this helps my rock star dreams one bit. I really wish they would release a CHristian Rock pack. That would be sweet!
8. I'm mostly secure with my body. I know I could lose a few pounds (and I would love to get rid of the mountains that are my breasts) but it's not too bad. I love my hair (when it's straight), I don't have an acne problem, and I'm comfortable with that overlap of my two front teeth.
9. Up until David's death this week, I have never experienced the death of a friend. The few people I've known who died were old and sick and it was almost a relief that they died. But with David, who was so young and such a good guy, it's hard for me ot deal with because it's such a new experience. (I mean, my dog died in September and that was hard, but I didn't feel as awful as I do about david because BG was old and sick...)
10. I have a tendency to get stuck on movies or sonogs or TV shows or books. I mean obsessive stuck. I'll listen to a new CD over and over and over. With a TV show that I really love, like Gilmore Girls, I will buy eveyr season ono DVD and have it all memorized. YOu could ask me a question about when something happened and I will be like, "It's in episode so and so when such and such was going on." It's terrible. (For example, I'm currently obsessed with Sara Bareilles' "Love Song") See the video here (unfortunately the actual video can't be embedded, so here she is on Craig Ferguson:
11. I am a picky eater. not terribly picky, but I don't like my foods to touch. I haven't touch fish (other than tuna salad) since I was ten and cut into a piece of fish and it was BLUE inside, I hate broccoli becacuse it stinks, and I woon't eat things like peas or beans because the texture grosses me out.
12. I really really really want to have a Habitat honeymoon and go down to Louisiana and build some houses after I get married. How cool woudl that be??
13. I love how close my roommate and I are with our suitemates. I'm 3 years oolder than all of them, too, which is another reason why our bond surprises me. I'm liek the big sister. They've really beent here for me, too, the last few days, when I've needed someone to talk to when I start crying out of no where.
14. I'm very surprised that STLWed girls actually read my blog. SOmetimes I feel like I"m not part of that whole group other than posting, which is mostly my fault 'cause I never make it to the gt togethers. But the few comments I have on here are from the girls. (I guess Google Reader really helps, too!)
I have no idea who I'm going to tag. I would hate to tag someone who has already been tagged, but here we go: Heather, Carrie, Rhonda, Sarah, Christie, Melissa, and Brigid.
What a Week
David is dead. Every time I think of the finality of that, it makes me cry harder than I probably already am. I think of normal things like what I have at Jerome's apartment and then i think of David's room, now empty of everything. That really gets me, too. how would you like to live in an apartment where a kid killed himself? I don't know that I would, honestly. And I'm sure that apartment will stay empty for a while because legally the complex has to own up to it.
I think, as far as the stages of grief go, I'm kind of hovering in between depression and anger. To be honest, I'm pissed beyond belief that David did this. Why didn't he talk to someone? Anyone? What the hell was wrong with him that we didn't notice? Why would he choose a path so selfish and leave everyone behind in so much pain? And how the hell do you muster up the courage to pull a trigger on a gun or swallow an excessive amount of pills or slice your wirsts or jump off of a bridge or however else people kill themselves, knowing that it is the last thing you will ever do? And I'm mad that the funeral is during our Easter festival. hasn't he interrupted our lives enough? I need that escape and now I don't have it.
But maybe that is selfish on my part. I want to be there, of course, to pay respects and to be with my family. I need to be there. But I need to be able to do something just for me, too. Something not related to suicide and David and funerals.
Jerome is not doing too well with everything. He never talks about anything. He blew up yesterday at stuff his mom was doing and vented about it to me, which was god; at least he was blowing off some steam, however misdirected it was. He needed to oget soemthing out. It's this that angers me most of all. The mourning of everybody. I know people all mourn differently. I prefer to cry about it. But Jeroome keeps it bottled in. And I'm not pressuring him to talk about it right now because he needs some time to process and adjust, but I hope that he will talk to somebody. Anybody. Me, Sue, his mom, a girl at work, Christina. God would be great, too, but sometimes you need that physical contact: a hug, an arm around you. SOmeone saying, "I know it hurts, but it will be alright."
Things may never be normal again; we'll begin to go on living our lives and while we won't forget David, his memory won't be quite as vivid or painful as it is in these last few days. I just hope that eventually, somehow, with the help of God, it will be alright.
I think, as far as the stages of grief go, I'm kind of hovering in between depression and anger. To be honest, I'm pissed beyond belief that David did this. Why didn't he talk to someone? Anyone? What the hell was wrong with him that we didn't notice? Why would he choose a path so selfish and leave everyone behind in so much pain? And how the hell do you muster up the courage to pull a trigger on a gun or swallow an excessive amount of pills or slice your wirsts or jump off of a bridge or however else people kill themselves, knowing that it is the last thing you will ever do? And I'm mad that the funeral is during our Easter festival. hasn't he interrupted our lives enough? I need that escape and now I don't have it.
But maybe that is selfish on my part. I want to be there, of course, to pay respects and to be with my family. I need to be there. But I need to be able to do something just for me, too. Something not related to suicide and David and funerals.
Jerome is not doing too well with everything. He never talks about anything. He blew up yesterday at stuff his mom was doing and vented about it to me, which was god; at least he was blowing off some steam, however misdirected it was. He needed to oget soemthing out. It's this that angers me most of all. The mourning of everybody. I know people all mourn differently. I prefer to cry about it. But Jeroome keeps it bottled in. And I'm not pressuring him to talk about it right now because he needs some time to process and adjust, but I hope that he will talk to somebody. Anybody. Me, Sue, his mom, a girl at work, Christina. God would be great, too, but sometimes you need that physical contact: a hug, an arm around you. SOmeone saying, "I know it hurts, but it will be alright."
Things may never be normal again; we'll begin to go on living our lives and while we won't forget David, his memory won't be quite as vivid or painful as it is in these last few days. I just hope that eventually, somehow, with the help of God, it will be alright.
Mar 18, 2008
R.I.P. David
Jerome's cousin killed himself yesterday morning.
This was the cousin that Jerome shared an apartment with. Thankfully, Jerome was not the one who found him, but he now needs to try and get out of his lease; I don't blame him. He can't swing $600/month's rent and even if he could why would he want to stay? As far as grieving, he's being Jerome -- stoic and quiet. THe only time I saw him shed a tear yesterday was when his mother called.
The whole family is shocked. I'm shocked. J and I JUST saw him on Sunday afternoon and he seemed fine. Neither of us ever picked up on any depression symptoms. And I know about all the "signs of depression" or "Symptoms of suicidal thoughts." And you know what? I saw none of them. None of us saw any of it. Does that make us blind or does that make David a really good faker? Or did something just snap inside him? I guess these are questions that will never be answered. For now we're all grieving the loss of a bright 21 year old with such potential.
What went wrong??
This was the cousin that Jerome shared an apartment with. Thankfully, Jerome was not the one who found him, but he now needs to try and get out of his lease; I don't blame him. He can't swing $600/month's rent and even if he could why would he want to stay? As far as grieving, he's being Jerome -- stoic and quiet. THe only time I saw him shed a tear yesterday was when his mother called.
The whole family is shocked. I'm shocked. J and I JUST saw him on Sunday afternoon and he seemed fine. Neither of us ever picked up on any depression symptoms. And I know about all the "signs of depression" or "Symptoms of suicidal thoughts." And you know what? I saw none of them. None of us saw any of it. Does that make us blind or does that make David a really good faker? Or did something just snap inside him? I guess these are questions that will never be answered. For now we're all grieving the loss of a bright 21 year old with such potential.
What went wrong??
Mar 13, 2008
Yay for good weather!!
I LOVE the weather we had yesterday. I wanted to cancel my sub job and go to Forest Park or something. I can't wait till it's like that ALL THE TIME!!! Flip flops, skirts. And, of course, with nice weather comes CAMP. I'm sad that this is my last summer, but I'm super excited because it's going to kick butt. Great staff, great counselor, great kids. Bittersweet ending, of course, but I'm excited. Tasha and I have started calling each other "Speckles" and "Rosethorn" because we're campsick.
I applied for my housing on tuesday and I'm living with Jen again! Well, hopefully; she's having knee surgery and she might be living in an apartment instead so that Matt and her dad and stepdad can help her out with Kenzie and everything. If noot, then I will either live at home or I will live in a house with Tasha and some of her friends. So either way it's taken care of, but if I'm a commuter, then I won't be able to do work and learn which means I have to pay almost $4000 next year. Yuck.
My trip to Chicago was a lot of fun. Jerome and I went to the aquarium on Friday and walked around the city on Saturday. We ate at Gino's and at Portillo's. We took the El and busses everywhere. I auditioned for Gospel Dream. It was a lot of fun. I will soono have my pictures up on Facebook which I will link to here.
I applied for my housing on tuesday and I'm living with Jen again! Well, hopefully; she's having knee surgery and she might be living in an apartment instead so that Matt and her dad and stepdad can help her out with Kenzie and everything. If noot, then I will either live at home or I will live in a house with Tasha and some of her friends. So either way it's taken care of, but if I'm a commuter, then I won't be able to do work and learn which means I have to pay almost $4000 next year. Yuck.
My trip to Chicago was a lot of fun. Jerome and I went to the aquarium on Friday and walked around the city on Saturday. We ate at Gino's and at Portillo's. We took the El and busses everywhere. I auditioned for Gospel Dream. It was a lot of fun. I will soono have my pictures up on Facebook which I will link to here.
Mar 6, 2008
Is Winter Over Yet?
A friend of my roommate's decided to apply to be nature director at camp, so Tasha and I started going on about camp. She and I have been so campsick recently. It usually hits me around March, so it's right on time. It's hard that this is my last summer, but I think it's going to be amazing. I have a counselor all summer so I can "train" her to take my place next year. I'm hoping that I can also have Rosethorn for at least half of the summer -- that would make an AMAZING staff at Manor. :-)
I leave for Chicago in the morning for my audition for Gospel Dream. I'm sooooo excited but soooooo nervous. I know that Jerome and I are going to have a blast and I can't wait for our sight seeing at the planetarium and the aquarium. I'll post pictures tomorrow night.
I leave for Chicago in the morning for my audition for Gospel Dream. I'm sooooo excited but soooooo nervous. I know that Jerome and I are going to have a blast and I can't wait for our sight seeing at the planetarium and the aquarium. I'll post pictures tomorrow night.
Mar 4, 2008
What College Kids do on Snow Days...
My roommate, suitemate, and I were surfing around YouTube today and found some videos I would like to share:
1. The First Semester of Spanish Spanish Love Song:
2. The second is a random video about llamas who got scared out of their resting shed when about 14 inches of snow fell from off of the roof. I thought it fitting to post considering the blizzard we got today:
3. And, of course, one of my favorites EVER, the Snoopy video from www.thebunnyshed.co.uk:
1. The First Semester of Spanish Spanish Love Song:
2. The second is a random video about llamas who got scared out of their resting shed when about 14 inches of snow fell from off of the roof. I thought it fitting to post considering the blizzard we got today:
3. And, of course, one of my favorites EVER, the Snoopy video from www.thebunnyshed.co.uk:
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