tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43713172708037621572024-03-13T11:22:12.796-05:00I am a Broken MasterpieceConfessions of an Imperfect NewlywedJessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.comBlogger277125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-72722851459998311792016-06-03T21:29:00.000-05:002016-06-03T21:29:03.247-05:00Teaching in the City: Lessons on RaceApparently, I only blog at big moments in my life anymore.<br />
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I had intended to chronicle my year as a teacher in the City but to be honest I was exhausted every night -- emotionally and physically. I felt like I spent more of my day breaking up fights than actually teaching and honestly felt as though I was in survival mode since, oh, September. That's not why I went into teaching. I have NEVER hated my job. (Actually, that's a lie... I didn't much like the preschool I worked at before Strictly.) I have never dreaded going to work on a daily basis. Everyone kept saying, "One year in the city is worth two or three anywhere else." It better be...<br />
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I learned a lot about my teaching style this year. Things I need to do better in my next school and position... Different classroom management techniques, how to better implement guided reading and guided math. Those are all lessons first year teachers learn, right? I just hate that I learned them there, in a school where QUALITY is so desperately needed. I almost feel like my kids were my guinea pigs, and in the neighborhood where I taught, that was a huge disservice to them.<br />
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But what's most important that I learned is about race. Race is a BIG topic right now in St. Louis, and it has been ever since Michael Brown was shot (7 miles from my school). In a way, the discussion that has begun has been healing, but in many others it hasn't. It's honestly something that hasn't been touched on -- not in a real authentic way -- well, ever.<br />
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I don't believe it was a coincidence I worked at this school this year. At the beginning of the (school) year, I attended a racial equity forum with several of my colleagues as well as other teachers in similar schools. Being an ardent Bernie Sanders supporter (if you're my friend on Facebook ad haven't picked up on that, you haven't been paying attention) I had already begun to learn about how our systems play into racism and classism in our nation. This forum opened my eyes even further. We discussed how the concept of Race came about, as well as having times to speak openly and honestly about our experiences with racism. I realized there that race isn't spoken about in our region because if you're white and you talk about it, you're racist, and if you're black and you talk about it, you're playing the victim. It couldn't POSSIBLY be because you're wanting to fix things.<br />
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Anyway, we discussed things from the GI Bill not fully extending to black soldiers to housing regulations that led to white suburbs and "white flight." We discussed white privilege (yes, it exists, and if you're white shaking you're head and saying, "No it doesn't..." your privilege is showing) and wealth and a whole host of other things in the 2 days I was in attendance.<br />
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And you know what? The very kids I had signed on to teach were affected on a daily basis by laws and rules and attitudes that date back DECADES. I am ANGRY over it all. I'm trying not to get on my soapbox about it... I'll save that for another post. But let's just say, you should pay the $5 to rent <a href="https://vimeo.com/ondemand/race" target="_blank">Race: The Power of Illusion</a> on Vimeo, and you should listen to <a href="http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/562/the-problem-we-all-live-with" target="_blank">this episode</a> of This American Life which addresses the Normandy/Francis Howell transfer issue, and you should subscribe to <a href="http://www.welivehere.show/" target="_blank">We Live Here</a> which focuses on the St. Louis area, and you should learn about the blatant segregation going on in our own city via the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeDFnZlBo0A" target="_blank">Delmar Divide</a>. Truly eye-opening stuff.<br />
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Around January of this year, a small group of people at my church have become involved in racial reconciliation in our community -- tough to do since the very existence of our county is due in large part to white flight in the 90's and 00's. I brought a unique perspective to the group, working in the environment that I do, with the people I do (100% black school, 100% free/reduced lunch... I was one of 5 or 6 non-black teachers in my building). The whole process, combined with the racial equity forum, was convicting. You learn things about yourself in these circumstances You discover attitudes you didn't know you had and conditions of your heart that you didn't realize were there. It required a LOT of introspection and a lot of truth-telling on all of our parts. Some people couldn't handle the revelations they made of themselves. Others saw it and embraced it -- not in a loving and good way, but in an empowering I'm-going-to-change-my-thinking way. After all, you can't fix a problem until you admit you have it.<br />
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As for me? I grew up in North County. My grade school was fairly evenly split and one of my best friends in early elementary school was a black girl. I never considered myself a racist. Honestly, I'm not sure I do even now after all the discussion and dissection. But I did realize the attitudes I'd picked up from society. The expectations I had about my kids and about my role as a white teacher in a black school. I didn't want to go in there with a Messianic attitude, but I realize now that I did. Not because I believe the kids need ME to save them, but that they need someone to save them.<br />
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That's why we go into teaching, right? To nurture our kids. To show them that they are capable of ANYTHING they set their mind to. To be a constant source of goodness and kindness in their lives. That's the attitude I would have taken no matter where I taught, but in the City it was... magnified almost. And it was probably the biggest source of stress. I wanted so desperately to connect with my students. To show them that I was THERE. That I wasn't leaving, and that I believed in them. In truth, I think I managed that with about 4 students. Maybe I succeeded with more than that, but I'm not so sure... It wasn't obvious anyway. And for a while, most of the year in fact, I took it personally. I tried not to. I told myself I wasn't. But I did.<br />
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I was probably the first white person these kids came into contact with on a daily basis, I realized in about March. Their neighborhood is black, their church is probably black, their family is black... What they see on TV and might hear in their homes about white people is, no doubt, not always positive. ESPECIALLY in light of the spark that is Ferguson. While I never heard much -- if any -- anti-black rhetoric at my house growing up, I know there were white families that spoke ill against black ones. And I"m sure the opposite case is true. My kids were coming to school with preconceived notions of me, a white woman, and treating me differently than the black teachers because of it. Just like, subconsciously, I was probably treating them differently too. We all do it. It's... ingrained in us, I believe.<br />
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I'm determined to be one of the people who stops it. One who doesn't shy away form the issues, denying the existence of white privilege or feeling guilty for the benefits I was given just because I am white. Yes, the circumstances are far from ideal. But let's fix it. Talk about it. Get involved. Interact with people who don't look like you. Read about social issues that affect poor black neighborhoods through a lens that isn't colored with the attitude of "They can get themselves out if they truly wanted to" (because I PROMISE you, it's not that simple). TAKE A STAND. The reason nothing has changed is because NO ONE is willing to TALK ABOUT IT.<br />
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It won't be pretty. It might even be a little painful. But it's necessary if our region and our nation is ever going to heal from our racial wounds.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-68265934633364045032014-05-29T03:00:00.001-05:002014-05-29T03:00:43.431-05:00It Is Beautiful<p dir="ltr">Its 2:40am. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I've been tossing and turning, up every hour since I went to bed at 10:30.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I've given up, for now, on finding sleep.</p>
<p dir="ltr">We say goodbye tomorrow. To a husband. To a son. To a brother. To a teacher. To a coach.</p>
<p dir="ltr">To MY brother.</p>
<p dir="ltr">On one level it doesn't seem real. Like this is a dream. That this man isn't gone. Not Will. He had everything. And now we have nothing.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Nothing but memories. Stories. Photos. These are great, of course, but not as good as the real thing.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I've had people remark how strong I have been. The truth of the matter is that it's not MY strength. I am broken. Shattered. Angry. Confused. So full of emotion that I don't know what to do.</p>
<p dir="ltr">And yet...</p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm also filled with love. Hope. Strength. Courage. Peace.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Why?</p>
<p dir="ltr">"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." (Psalm 42:11)</p>
<p dir="ltr">My brother put his hope in God. <b>I</b> put my hope in God.</p>
<p dir="ltr">What is His plan? I have no idea. It seems unfair that he would be taken so early. That he would leave behind a wife and a family who love him and miss him. That he would put his life on the line as a Marine overseas -- twice -- only to be killed in a traffic accident.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I could choose to be angry. I could choose to cry uncontrollably. I could shake my fist and scream at God. </p>
<p dir="ltr">He would listen.</p>
<p dir="ltr">And then He would give me His peace. Because I <b>know</b><b> </b>what my brother is doing right this instant. He is praising the Lord Most High. Right at His feet.</p>
<p dir="ltr">For some people, tragedy shakes their faith. Rocks it. Overturns it, even.</p>
<p dir="ltr">But not me.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I will cry and be sad, but I will not be shaken. I will be strengthened. I will be lifted up on eagle's wings, filled with a peace that surpasses all understanding. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Because it's all I can be. My trust in God's plan is stronger than any tragedy. In my weakness I am made strong because of Him.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I can't explain it. I can't tell you why having faith is easy even when it's not. Even when you're angry and hurt. </p>
<p dir="ltr">The truth is that I see a tiny sliver of the plan that God has for my brother's life. For MY life. But I know there is one.</p>
<p dir="ltr">And it is beautiful.<br>
</p>
Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-61677842293602073972013-04-24T21:50:00.000-05:002013-04-24T21:50:02.318-05:00Aaaand I'm Back.....With a whole lot going on:<br />
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<u>The Good</u><br />
I had a job interview with a local elementary school last week. They have several openings, so my chances aren't too shabby. I haven't heard anything yet, but I'm praying for patience and trusting that if this is the job for me then I'll get it.<br />
J and I have decided that we're taking a vacation for our anniversary next year! One of my 101 in 1001 is to return to the B&B where we honeymooned, but I decided to one-up myself and go all out. We've decided to go to Orlando and hit up Disney World. Neither of us have been and it's not far from the beach (the Gulf OR the Atlantic). I absolutely cannot wait.<br />
I'm headed back to NYC in just about 5 weeks and I've already bought 2 Living Social deals for the trip -- one for a twilight sail around Manhattan and one for a trip to Coney Island, which apparently has been built back up since Hurricane Sandy came through.<br />
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<u>The Bad</u><br />
J didn't get into Moody. He's handling it well. I think I'm more bummed than he is. So that means we're staying in STL. If I get the job, though, we will be moving, just further west more toward where we both (will) work. Which isn't entirely bad, just new.<br />
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<u>The Ugly</u><br />
My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer recently. My dad isn't taking it too well. But her spirits are way up, so that's good. It's just stressful because I'm the power of attorney and executor of her will and everything. In the meantime, I have to also deal with my dad's rantings and ravings. Pray for me, folks, because my stress level keeps rising.<br />
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Otherwise, everything is going well. I hope to hear about my job by the end of the week!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-62854311106451017592012-12-14T16:58:00.001-06:002012-12-14T16:58:05.381-06:00Shattered<br />
I was 13 when Columbine occurred in 1999. I recognized the weight of the situation, especially because I started high school a few years after. But I didn't worry about it. The likelihood of it occurring at my school was slim.<br />
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I was a junior in college when Virginia Tech occurred in 2007. Again, I recognized the weight, and signed up for my college's text message system. But I didn't worry about it. What happened at Virginia Tech could never happen at Lindenwood.<br />
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But today. Oh, today. Today my heart is broken.<br />
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One of the reports I read said that the shooter's mother was a kindergarten teacher. Which leads me to believe that when he shot her, he shot her class. Innocent 5 and 6 year olds. Guys, I teach PRE-Kindergarten. Which means the kids I taught LAST YEAR are the same age as some of those kids. And some of the kids I taught in the 2s are in Kindergarten. When I read that, my heart shattered. This. Hits. Home.<br />
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I cherished the snuggles I got this afternoon from my students. I hope you cherished the snuggles you got from yours.<br />
Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-12082672514563900352012-10-05T19:03:00.000-05:002012-10-05T19:07:38.445-05:00Sevenly.OrgMy girlfriend Kait turned me on to Sevenly this summer. They sell a different shirt each week supporting a different cause. The shirts cost $22 and of that money, $7 is donated to that week's charity. It's a great way to support charities I believe in while getting super cute shirts, and providing a conversation piece.<br />
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In June I bought this one supporting Feed My Starving Children. There was a huge effort in Colorado last summer to prepare food packs for children all over the world who live in hunger. I think this was the second shirt they offered after I discovered them.<br />
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In July they teamed up with Autism Speaks and I knew I wants a church because I love the charity. And because they matched every donation 200%. Which meant for a $22 shirt, $21 of that went directly to the charity. Oh, and it's my favorite color. ;-) (Yes, that is Paulie under the covers behind me.)</div>
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Today, October 5, I bought my third Sevenly shirt. This fulfills my 101 in 10001 goal (#101). Yay! </div>
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The cause this week is breast cancer awareness. Five years ago I could honestly say I knew one person who was affected by this disease. Now I can say I know several. My aunt, my childhood best friend's mother, two women from my church... In fact, one of my best friend's mother died of it last fall. I'm affected now. And so I knew I HAD to buy a shirt. the National Breast Cancer Foundation's mission is to provide life-saving mammograms to women in need. Most types of breast cancer are not only treatable, but curable if they are caught early enough. Help save a life. Buy a shirt!</div>
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I obviously don't have a photo of me in the one I ordered today, but here it is on the model:</div>
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So, what are you waiting for? Go check out Sevenly and buy a shirt today!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-34052916385413470192012-09-02T22:36:00.001-05:002012-09-02T22:36:38.504-05:00Pinterest Success!<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">This makes Pinterest project #2, helping to fulfill number 5 of my <a href="http://brknmasterpiece.blogspot.com/p/101-in-1001.html" target="_blank">101 in 1001</a>.</span></i><br />
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When I found this pin, I fell in love with the idea. Over the past year I have really gotten into necklaces and earrings and it was getting kind of crowded in my bathroom. Originally all of my necklaces were hung on 3 cup hooks behind my bathroom door. Which made for a lot of tangles in the morning -- annoying. I was desperate for a better idea to store my necklaces in a way that made them easily accessible and viewable.<br />
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This is my "pinspiration:"<br />
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The frame I used formerly housed a mirror. I unscrewed the back and pulled the mirror out...<br />
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...then I began the hunt for chicken wire. I like the squared wire the blogger used in the photo above but I could only buy it by the roll, and there was no way I was going to buy $12 of chicken wire when all I needed was about a square foot. So I drove. And I called. Seriously, I went to Home Depot, True Value, Lowe's, Michaels, Hobby Lobby, and a local farm supply store. At this point I had to go to a dentist appointment, so I called one other place: a local farm co-op. Success! They sold chicken wire by the foot. It took me a week and half to get to the shop, though, but it was worth it: I paid 44 cents for my chicken wire. Suh-weet!<br />
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I bought the dowel at Home Depot for 98 cents. So for roughly $1.50 (I already had the frame, and the hooks, and the spray paint I used to paint the dowel black), I had everything I needed. Then it sat. And sat. And sat.<br />
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Until today.<br />
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Isn't it gorgeous??Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-55350921845313007722012-08-10T15:47:00.002-05:002012-08-10T15:48:32.285-05:00An End and a Beginning...This summer has just FLOWN by, hasn't it? While I am a teacher, I don't get a summer break. (insert sad face here) Instead, we switch over to a sumemr day camp kind of program at school. We are more relaxed about what we do and we go on a field trip every week, plus swim lessons two or three times a week. Seriously, I think the fact that I used to teach at the Y is one ofthe biggest reasons I got this job! Needless to say, of the four days each week I work, I'm only at school all day for one of them. On one hand, it's very nice. On the other hand, it's totally exhausting. <br />
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Today was the last day of summer camp. 10 of my kids are starting Kindergarten next week. Sniffle. I get a new crew of kids the week after next. (We're having some remodeling done in some areas of the school -- 2 classrooms and the kitchen, and still will have 7 campers, so we're "transitioning" next week.) It's all very exciting. Sending home things this group of kids doesn't need anymore. Having them help us clean toys and area of the classroom. The owner of my school is on a remodel kick and we recently got shelves put in my office and our art room -- LOVE! <br />
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But I have to say good bye to what I think can fairly say is my first group of students -- I started 'em off in August and I'm finishing with 'em now. They've challenged me. They've loved me. They've joked with me. They even started picking up on my sarcasm and using it themselves! They're ready for Kindergarten and I'm ready to see them off. I'm ready to invite the new crew into my classroom and see how they will challenge me.<br />
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New school years are just as exciting for the teachers as they are for the kids. Last year's group was so different from this year's group and I can't wait to see what next year's group (who move up in 10 days!) will bring.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-71481934793533238992012-07-21T09:58:00.000-05:002012-07-21T09:58:41.942-05:00Changes are A-comin'J and I have decided that we're moving to Chicago. He really wants to go back to school and eventually seminary, and has his eyes on Moody. We first discussed where we wanted to go to school in April, when he returned from a trip to Atlanta for a men's conference. He's taken on a lot of "mentor" roles with different people at church and while he originally went to school to become a history teacher, we're both feeling that God is leading him into ministry. So we did some research and Moody Bible Institute was a big one that stuck out in our search. We're going to visit it later in the summer, but I think we've settled on it.<br />
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I'm excited but also extremely anxious. We won't be moving August 2013, so it's a while away. But there's still the factor of the unknown. And I'm a planner, so hopefully I don't start overthinking this...<br />
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What's funny is I was <i>thisclose</i> to going to school in Chicago. My boyfriend in high school wanted to go to art school there so I started looking into schools up there. Elmhurst was my top pick and I had my paperwork all filled out and a deposit check in the envelope, stamped an ready to mail, when Lindenwood called and offered me a <i>very</i> generous scholarship. A whole lot more than Elmhurst was offering. So I took the offer and went away to school close to home. Which is probably the best decision I ever made -- that high school relationship didn't pan out, and I was able to get to know J and we all know how that ended up. =)<br />
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When it came time for me to student teach, J and I made the decision that I wasn't going to work -- I still had scholarships for school so my room and board was paid for and all I had to worry about was gas -- so he dropped out of the community college and went to work fulltime at the hospital (where he still works). That gesture spoke <i>volumes</i><b style="font-style: italic;">. </b>We were engaged but wouldn't be married for almost another year, so that kind of commitment really meant a lot to me. Of course, that was always hanging over my head (not because he held it there but because I did), that I had a college degree and he didn't. But even that has worked out. It took him a few years to realize that he didn't want to teach. At first he thought he wanted to go into youth ministry, but over the last several months he's been giving serious thought to pastoral ministry. Hence the search into Christian institutions and thinking about going to seminary.<br />
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So I've been doing research: the best areas of the city in which to live (if we decide not to live on campus), how to transfer my teaching certificate to Illinois, grad schools for me. I even found a campus group called Student Wives Fellowship that is a group of women who are married to Moody students or are Moody students themselves. I've emailed for some more insight -- because we all know how much I appreciate insight. Ha.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-11837111107627225992012-06-09T12:20:00.002-05:002012-06-09T12:20:59.594-05:00My Braaaaand Neeeeeew Caaaaar!Ok, so it's really a brand new to me car but still... Everything was kind of whirlwind, so here's the scoop:<br />
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My car was a 2002 Saturn SL that was originally my step father's. I bought it in 2006 after I totaled my 2003 Nissan Sentra (which I LOVED). SO I had it for six years and that little car just kept on trucking. Aside from an issue I had with the starter (when I took it in to replace it, first they put the old broken one back on, then they got a faulty one in there, then they clipped a wire... FINALLY the owner of the shop put in a BRAND NEW one and it's been fine ever since...), it's been a great little car. J is on his third car since I bought this one, and it was the car we took on all of our big journeys (so that I could also drive since I still don't know how to drive a stick shift), so it's been to Chicago, Memphis, Kansas City, and Branson. But.<br />
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My registration expires in October and to be honest I knew we were getting to a point where within the next couple of years we would be putting more money into her than she was worth. So we knew we'd be replacing her. Which meant another car payment -- not something I was looking forward to, considering we bought J's car last summer so we have 4 years of payments left on it. (We would be more than halfway through a car loan, but since <i>his</i> Sentra was totaled in Colorado last summer, we had to buy another one.) But that's just what happens, you know?<br />
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But then the hail happened and the director of my school's car was deemed a total loss -- even though it was mechanically unharmed. All the damage was cosmetic. So they bought out her loan and she decided to sell the car and use that money, plus the extra money from her insurance check, as a down payment on a new (to her) car. So we got to talking and a few weeks later after I sold my car I bought hers! Here is a picture of her:<br />
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Isn't she gorgeous? I'm excited that one of the "big" things on my <a href="http://brknmasterpiece.blogspot.com/p/101-in-1001.html" target="_blank">101 in 1001</a> list is checked off.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-12611671605119827862012-05-16T21:36:00.002-05:002012-05-16T21:36:40.645-05:00I'm getting a new car!Numero Uno on my 101 in 1001 is to buy a new (to me) car. That is coming to fruition very very soon. It's all been kind of whirlwind, actually.<br />
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About a month ago, a huuuuuge hail storm (literally hailstones the size of baseballs) blew through the area. A lot of cars have bad hail damage, including my boss's 2007 Saturn Ion. It's all cosmetic, but she's taking the insurance money, paying her car off, and then using the rest for a down payment on a new car. Which means she's selling hers.<br />
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To me. Yay!<br />
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I was able to sell my car on Craigslist this week and will buy hers officially next week. I am super pumped to be getting a newer car with nothing mechanically wrong -- only some cosmetic damage, but if you've ever seen my current car you would know how much I <i>don't</i> care about that. Jerome even said it's a better car than his. Woo hoo!!<br />
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I don't have any photos of my new ride yet, but here is the stock photo:<br />
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-44099318523763841202012-04-28T16:33:00.003-05:002012-04-28T16:33:53.298-05:00New York, Part 2I thought I would share some reviews and tips about my trip to New York. Now, I am far from a seasoned traveler, and this was my first time in NYC, so take my tips and reviews with a grain of salt, as they say.<br />
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<b>Flying?</b><br />
I flew with Southwest Airlines. They had the best price ($263 round trip). They fly directly from St. Louis to Newark, but it wasn't as easy to get to my friend's apartment as it was to get from LaGuardia. So I flew into LGA via Baltimore on Friday and home via Chicago Midway on Monday. I had an excellent experience flying SWA. They don't assign seats; rather, they assign boarding groups (A, B, and C) and a number. You board according to your number (so, A1 would board first and get first pick). You're assigned these numbers at check in, which you can do 24 hours before hand. I paid for early bird check in ($10 each way) and I'm glad I did. EBC checked me in and got my seating assignment 26 hours before my flight. I was in the A group each time and was able to sit pretty much wherever I wanted. Also, my flights on Friday both landed 20 minutes early. Sweet! When I flew home, my flight out of LGA was delayed about half an hour, probably due to the rain we were having in New York. They also changed the gate number, but I got a text message letting me know about that before they even made the announcement at the airport. Sweet! One last thing: SWA has WONDERFUL "charging stations" at STL, BWI, and MDW. Comfy leather chairs with 2 outlets between them. There are also "counters" where you can charge. LGA doesn't have them. My tip, if you have a longer layover, is find a gate which has recently flown out (or get to yours early enough) to ensure you have a nice comfy chair while you're waiting for your flight.<br />
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<b>Baggage?</b><br />
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Since I flew SWA, I could have 2 checked bags for free. I didn't check my suitcase on my way to LGA because my layover in Baltimore was only supposed to be half an hour. I'm sure they could have handled it, but I felt more in control of my life if I had my bag with me. I used a smallish suitcase I borrowed from my grandmother. It ended up being the perfect size for the weekend, even with the few souvenirs I picked up. As for my purse, I knew I wanted to bring something a little tighter to my body than a purse, something like the <a href="http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3995831&cp=4406646.4413993.4414966.12669414" target="_blank">North Face Roo II</a>, but it was too expensive, so I bought <a href="http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4129336&cp=4406646.4413993.4414966.12669414" target="_blank">this</a> instead.It's kind of a knock off of the Roo; it's cheaper and a little bigger, and has an extra pocket or two. It was perfect. I was able to fit everything I needed for the airport in there -- my Nook Color, phone, phone charger, sunglasses, money, etc., and keep it all within easy reach. Bonus -- everything that was important felt safe. The zippers for the main pocket tuck behind and inside the strap and the pocket that held my money is underneath the plastic buckle. I kept unimportant stuff in that top front pocket -- my gum, chap stick, and ear buds. Great size and very comfortable. I wore it as a cross-body bag.<br />
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<b>Money?</b><br />
I did <i>a lot</i> of babysitting and tutoring in the ten weeks between booking my ticket and my trip. As a result, I saved $400 of spending money (after I paid for my bag above and metro pass). I was conflicted with what I should do. I didn't want to take $400 in cash to New York (I wouldn't walk around my suburb of St. Louis with $400 in cash), but I wanted it to be accessible. We recently switched banks from Bank of America (boo!) to PNC (yay!) but the nearest PNC ATM was like 20 blocks away while the nearest BoA ATM was on the corner. Luckily,we hadn't closed our Bank of America account, so I put it in there. I made sure to have about $40 in cash on me and that was a perfect amount. Also? Bank of America has one heck of a presence in NYC. It worked out wonderfully.<br />
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<b>Lodging?</b><br />
I can't really help with this; my friend has an apartment on the Upper West Side, which ended up being really awesome, not just because I didn't need to pay for a hotel, but because I got more of a residential look at New York City and not the tourist. We stopped in her neighborhood market (seriously there's a market like every 2 blocks) on Friday for dinner. We ate at some of her favorite neighborhood places. It was cool to get the glimpse of NYC life. I also got some sticker shock of how expensive it is to live there. I was going to buy a box of Crystal Lite drink mix but it was, like, $6 (it's $3 at my supermarket when it's not on sale). No thanks! Also, her share of the rent? More than we pay for our condo. Crazy.<br />
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<b>Apps</b><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/0tpeXh5dU33nuOOUimignGQYqc3b62x8tRwjC18aQbSmaxKNKjLVbYklzn3hfW4BQbQG=w124" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/0tpeXh5dU33nuOOUimignGQYqc3b62x8tRwjC18aQbSmaxKNKjLVbYklzn3hfW4BQbQG=w124" /></a>I saved quite a on meals while I was there using 2 apps: Scout Mob and Foursquare. Our lunch on Saturday was 50% off thanks to Scout Mob, an app that isn't available in St. Louis yet. And we got our plate of fries free at lunch on Sunday thanks to checking in on Foursquare. Suh-weet!<br />
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Also, Google Maps is able to tell you what public transportation to take to get to your destination. I had my friend with me and she knew how to get most everywhere, but had I been forced to go on my own, the app would have helped immensely.<br />
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-81349148917826589542012-04-25T06:48:00.003-05:002012-04-25T06:49:16.884-05:00New York State of Mind<b>**You can see all the photos I took on my trip <a href="http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.641856838186.2080010.159500839&type=3&l=4eadc85419" target="_blank">here</a>.**</b><br />
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<b>Friday, April 20, 2012</b><br />
I woke up this morning at 3:30 AM. That's 45 minutes before I'm usually awake on a Friday. (And my cats were confused...) At 4:30, J dropped me off at the airport. At 5:30 I boarded a plane to Baltimore. By 6 I was in the air. Before my kids laid down for nap I had traveled 900+ miles. I made it!<br />
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Seriously, when I booked my flight in February I thought it was so far away. Then when I had to push it out 3 more weeks I thought it was even farther away. Luckily, the time went fast. Sadly, day 1 is under my belt.<br />
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I have a pedometer app on my phone and it says I walked 20000 steps today. That's twenty THOUSAND. Becca and I met up near her apt after her class and then went to lunch. We ate at a Mexican place a few blocks down from my friend's apartment. We each got a sandwich and then split and shared with each other.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lunch! My pork sandwich was better than her chicken sandwich.</td></tr>
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After that began 5 hours of non stop walking. From lunch we went and saw the Seinfeld diner:<br />
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Then Columbia University, where she goes to school. Then a large part of southern Central Park (Strawberry Fields, the Bow Bridge, and the big fountain that's in <i>Enchanted</i>):<br />
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And finally, since the tip of Central Park is only a few blocks from it, Times Square:<br />
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I've been on 2 subways and a cross-city bus. I'm exhausted. A good exhausted, but exhausted nonetheless.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My first subway ride!</td></tr>
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<b>Saturday, April 21, 2012</b></div>
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We woke up this morning and went for a "traditional" NYC breakfast of bagel and cream cheese. There's a little family owned shop down the street from my friend's apartment, so we went there. I got a cinnamon raisin bagel and apple cream cheese. It was actually really good, but there was a lot of cream cheese on it (and this comes from a girl who likes a lot of cream cheese on her bagel).<br />
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From there, we went to the Staten Island Ferry. This is a free and easy way to get a nice view of the Manhattan and Brooklyn skylines, as well as the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. I felt bad that we didn't have time to stay and see Staten Island, though. I'm betting a lot of people ride the boat over and then just turn right around and come back to Manhattan. Maybe next time...<br />
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I took a bus tour this afternoon I took a bus tour around Downtown Manhattan because my friend had to take a certification test to teach ESOL. It was a fun way to see more of the city, even though I didn't get off to see most of the things we saw (i.e. the Empire State Building, the huuuuuuuuuuge Macy's that's out there, etc.)<br />
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After that, we went over to Grand Central Station to take the subway to the Brooklyn Bridge. I thought we were only going to walk half, but we ended up doing the whole thing. Then we went back towards her apartment and got some pizza. And then later we went for ice cream.<br />
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I really lucked out today because the weather forecast said it was supposed to rain all day, but the rain stayed away until the middle of the night.<br />
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<b>Sunday, April 22, 2012</b><br />
The rain that was supposed to start yesterday came today in the middle of the night. Which meant that today was chilly. And wet. And... gross. But it was still fun.<br />
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We took the subway to Chelsea and walked a bit of the High Line, a park built up above the street along where there used to be some train tracks. Underneath is the Chelsea market and we walked through there, too.<br />
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Then we headed down to the 9/11 Memorial. There's a lot of security right now because they're building the two new towers but once those are finished, it's going to be an open courtyard for people to visit as they please. But let me tell you, if you go to New York, you <i>have</i> to do this. There is nothing more sobering than this site. The huge reflective pools, the names around the edges... I was sixteen when the towers went down -- old enough that I can remember when and where and how I heard about it. The images of the planes flying into the towers. The images of people desperately searching for their family. I can't forget. And now I can't forget the memorial. There will be a museum opening later this year in Building 8. They had a few artifacts in the visitor's center/gift shop. I ended up buying a t-shirt and a bracelet that say "United in Hope" and donating money to the museum and memorial.<br />
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We took the subway into Times Square with plans to enter some ticket lotteries, but when we got out of the subway station we were right at the New Amsterdam Theatre that shops Mary Poppins so we popped in (haha... see what I did there?) to see how much tickets were. For $32 we got "partial view" seats in a box with a better view of the stage than the "cheap" seats in the balcony. We couldn't see about 15% of the left side of the stage, but most of the "action" was in the center anyway, so we didn't miss much. This is definitely the way to go if you want to see a Broadway show but can't spent a whole lot of money for the better seats.<br />
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After that we went back to my friend's apartment and watched a movie. I know what you're thinking, "WHAT?! You opted to spend an evening in?" Yes, we did. It was cold and rainy and we had crammed in a whole lot of stuff over the last few days, plus my friend had to work the next day and I needed to pack because I was leaving the next day. So we just hung out for the rest of the evening.<br />
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It was an amazing, whirlwind trip, and I still have more to explore next time I go (hopefully with J)!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-19654588529448237712012-04-14T11:45:00.000-05:002012-04-14T11:47:39.111-05:00On My MindIf you've been around this blog for anytime at all (Or even just since the <a href="http://brknmasterpiece.blogspot.com/2012/04/why-i-listen-to-christian-music.html" target="_blank">last post</a>), you know that music at church is a big deal to me. I've been singing in church since I was 17 and it has played a massive role in my relationship with God and I've made a lot of amazing friends. I also love my church I feel like it's been a steady source of comfort, support, and and incredibly welcoming place; a place where you can come as you are and we will love you. I have a lot of friends at my church.<br />
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Which is why this post is probably going to get me into a LOT of trouble.<br />
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A year ago our worship leader stepped down. She wasn't leaving the church or moving, she just was stepping down. They were looking outside the church for a replacement and I committed to supporting and helping whomever they hired. Several people told me they hoped I would get it and I'm not going to lie, the thought crossed my mind, but I didn't voice that to but a few people. For six months, our piano player was our worship leader and she did the job wonderfully. Once the selection committee had whittled the candidates to two guys, they came in and worked with us and we voiced our opinion on who we liked. Someone was hired and in October he stepped in to the role.
And since then I have had dozens of people come up and complain to me about his style of worship, about how I should have gotten the job, about how they wish we could go back to the way things "used to be." And I'm stuck in the middle. I may not get paid for it, but it is my <b>job</b> to get up there every Sunday and help lead worship. It is my <b>job</b> to support the worship leader. It is my <b>job</b> to help that worship leader create an atmosphere in which people can worship the Risen Christ and a loving God.<br />
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But right now it feels like a one sided effort.<br />
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Have I liked everything the new leader has done? At first, no. Change cause friction. And there was friction. He led worship differently. We went from piano-led to guitar-led and, yes, it was difficult for me, too. We went from female-led to male-led and, yes, it was difficult for me (mostly because I was used to being able to take melody all the time and now I can't all the time because of the differences in ranges of men's voices and women's voices). He introduced a ton of new songs (okay, that wasn't so difficult for me because there were a TON of songs I wanted to do but we couldn't because of our instrumentation). He staggers the singers in a way that we aren't used to and, yes, that was difficult. But you know what? I talked to him about it. I approached him in love and we talked about it. And guess what? When something he does pisses me off, I still talk to him about it. Because he's willing to listen.<br />
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A few weeks ago a lot of things came to a head at a rehearsal. Some things were said and feelings were expressed in a way that made me ashamed of my team. And my church home. Because in the six months he's been there, more people have complained to him than tried to get to know him. He's experienced more negativity from my <i>family</i> in the last six months than I knew could ever exist. And it makes me sad. And mad. And disappointed. And <i>ashamed.</i><br />
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J and I went to another church on Easter evening. Some friends of ours had started attending and aren't firm in their religion (spirituality, beliefs, convictions, whatever) yet, so we wanted to check the place out, plus we're both so involved in ours that sometimes it's nice to go and just <i>worship</i>, and not have to worry about all the responsibility (or how people are going to respond to something new). The music didn't do it for me, to be honest, but the Pastor <i>nailed</i> it. You know how sometimes you get the right message at the right time? That is what happened for me last week.<br />
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I really hope I'm able to get this across correctly.<br />
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The pastor preached the resurrection story from Mark 16:1-8, with a focus on verse 7: "...go, tell His disciples and Peter that He is going before you to Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you." The idea is that Jesus is everywhere before you are. Jesus knows everything before you do. And we constantly expect him to be in the same place we left him. In the same worship model. In the same conference. IN the same Bible Study. But Jesus doesn't stay the same. He doesn't stay in the same places. And he sure as heck doesn't want you to stay in the same, and int he same places. The pastor asked three questions in his sermon: 1. In the situation you're in or the person you're dealing with, <b>where is Christ</b>? 2. In that situation or person, <b>what is He already doing</b>? 3. <b>How can I partner with Him?</b><br />
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That last one, in particular, struck a chord with me, because with all the drama going on at my church I think it's something we (even me at times) have failed to consider. We're called to be a missional church, but what does that look like? To me, it looks like we're partnering with <b>Jesus</b> to bring the church to the lost. And right now, I'm not feeling it. We're all so concerned with what worship has "become" (and in reality, it's not that much different than it used to be) that we've lost sight of Who is important, and what our call really is.<br />
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Listen, I get it. Worship is personal. I started this post with that statement. Worship is how you communicate with God, and vice versa, and it sets up your heart for the sermon. I understand how a "bad worship" can put you in the wrong place for a sermon. But I also think that half of worship is <i>your</i> responsibility. <i>You </i>have to come with your heart in the right place. That's not my job. That's not the worship leader's job or the pastor's job. When you enter church on a Sunday morning, are you prepared to worship? To partner with Jesus? Or are you prepared to find any and every thing you can to criticize what's going on. Because I can guarantee that Satan will take that negativity and make it bigger and bigger and bigger until finally it explodes and <strike>some one writes a blog post about it</strike> feelings get hurt. That's what he does. The question is, are you going to let him? Are you going to partner with Satan, or are you going to partner with Jesus?<br />
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It's very possible this post will self destruct. I know I'm going to piss off a <i>lot</i> of people because of what I just said and I may end up taking it down, or being asked to take it down. However, this doesn't just apply to my church. There is a term "worship wars" for a reason, and while I don't necessarily think that is what's happening in my church (maybe to an extent), I do know that because worship is personal, people feel very invested in it. So whether you're in my church or a church somewhere else going through the exact same thing, here is my challenge to you tomorrow and next Sunday and the next and the next:<br />
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Partner with Jesus. Find one thing you like about your new worship leader (or even new pastor/youth leader/children's ministry leader), <b>AND TELL THEM</b>. Introduce yourself. I'm not saying it's going to change over night, but if we all agreed to partner with Jesus together, open a dialog about how worship (or sermons or youth ministry, etc) can be improved -- specific things, not just "make it the way it used to be" -- I can guarantee that Jesus will deliver. Because that's what He does. He's always willing to be there.<br />
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The question is, are you letting Him?Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-86781665615386000172012-04-06T19:49:00.000-05:002012-04-06T19:49:31.803-05:00Why I Listen to Christian Music<span style="font-size: x-small;">For the purpose of this post, <i>secular</i> will be used to any music that is not sacred. It is not meant to be an offensive term, or derogatory, or used in a way that insinuates that secular (mainstream) music is bad. This post is entirely about <i>my choice</i> and it is not meant in any way to demean the choices you have made.</span><br />
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Music runs in my blood. My grandfather sang in the internationally acclaimed Ambassadors of Harmony for many years of my childhood, my mother plays the piano, and I did choir in grade school and band (clarinet) throughout junior and senior high. My brother plays the trombone and trumpet fluently (if you can apply that word to instruments) as well as a little of every other instrument since he studied music education for a while.<br />
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All this is to say that music has always been special in my life. In my faith, it's probably the biggest way I communicate with God. Some people are awesome pray-ers. (Seriously, how can people pray for hours on end???) Some people are great speakers. Music is my prayer. Music is my sermon. Music is my worship.<br />
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I didn't grow up going to church. I mean, I went to Sunday School with friends, I did AWANA, and I was baptized when I was about 12 -- because my friends did the same thing. Not because it was where my heart was. It wasn't until I was in high school that I started getting serious about my faith. And when I was invited to start singing on the worship team... I can't really explain what happened, but that was probably like my "great awakening" or something. I was baptized (for real this time -- my heart was in it) when I was a senior in high school and I've never looked back.<br />
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As I began singing on the praise team I began learning a lot of new songs. These were songs that I had never hear before or been exposed to. And in the days of Napster and Limewire, I was able to find just about any song I was looking for. I discovered artists like Nicole C. Mullen, Third Day, and Switchfoot. As time went on, I fell in love with the easy worship melodies of Chris Tomlin and Matt Redman. And I realized how one simple chorus can be full of God's presence.<br />
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When J and I started dating, I was introduced to a lot more artists and together, we just kind of slipped into the decision that Christian music was the only music we wanted to listen to. Honestly, there wasn't a cognizant moment where we decided not to listen to the mainstream secular stations anymore. I just know that shortly after we started dating, I stopped listening to and even enjoying most secular artists.<br />
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Why? Mostly because of content, I guess. There is a lot of lyrics that focus on sex. Or materialism. Or just... things that I don't want to focus on. Paul says to focus on that which is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable (Phil 4:8). We're also told to make a joyful noise unto the Lord (Ps 100:1, and many other places). Because music is how I communicate with God, I want to stick to the guideline set forth in Eph 4:29 (Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful... NLT) and listen only to positive, music. A lot of times my quiet time with the Lord comes when I'm listening to Spotify in the shower or JoyFM in the car. The moments when I feel His presence the most and feel most in tune with him.<br />
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Now, this is my decision. I know a lot of people who enjoy Christian music and secular music. I also know a lot of Christians who don't like Christian music because a lot of the lyrics seem shallow. And the idea of a Christian music <i>industry</i> turns them off. Trust me -- in my time working at Family Christian I discovered a fair share of artists and bands whose music did nothing for me. Just because you sing of His name does not make you a good artist, after all.<br />
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But more often than not I find songs I love, songs that move me, songs that get stuck in my head for. days. because God is speaking to me through them. Those are the songs I LOVE. I also love that I'll have a song mean something to me one get-stuck-in-my-head cycle and something completely different the next.<br />
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And so I wrap up this longer than I planned post explaining myself with some of the songs that have been speaking to me recently. I hope that they will speak to you as well.<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-43453842447455046992012-04-01T21:16:00.000-05:002012-04-01T21:16:11.090-05:00Back to the Beginning....Today was day #1 of my first Facebook fast. I had at least 4 people mention it to me at church this morning. So far it's going okay. I realized today that the only thing I'll really miss is posting things. It's not even the checking to see what everyone is doing. In church this morning, I wanted to share a piece of Scripture from Isaiah 53 via my YouVersion app and then realized -- wait! I can't do that! Haha.<br />
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Anyway, I chose this week because one thing that I NEVER do as often as I should is get in the Word. I mean, I'm awful about it. And it's not like I spend a whole lot of time on FB, either. It's just easy to get sucked into it. So in lieu of Facebook this week I am getting in it. And I'm memorizing the first of 3 Scripture passages: <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2051:1-7&version=NLT" target="_blank">Psalm 51:1-7</a>. I think it's fitting because it is a Psalm of confession.<br />
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I was listening to a sermon this week about idolatry and the preacher made a good point in saying that anything that comes before Jesus is an idol. I (and a lot of people, I'm sure) have an image in our minds about what that means. It means it consumes you. It's all you can think about. It's an obssession. But in reality, an idol doesn't have to be something that consumes you. Facebook becomes an idol for me any and every time I choose to check statuses instead of read Scripture or pray. Even if I only take five minutes to do it, it can often be the wrong choice to make in those five minutes.<br />
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Now, I'm not saying that Facebook is bad and no one should ever have Facebook or that I will be getting rid of my Facebook. I've just recognized that this is an area in which I falter, and this is one step I need to make to right my path, so to say... <br />
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But that doesn't mean I'm taking a break from blogging. I actually have a few things on my heart that I want to write about, so I will be doing that soon. =) Happy Palm Sunday! Enjoy your Holy Week!!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-27275857099013877172012-03-26T21:30:00.000-05:002012-03-26T21:30:08.284-05:00Things I'm LOVINGHere is what is going on in my life right now. Things I'm enjoying, maybe even mildly obsessing over...<br />
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<b>1. Spotify</b><br />
Do you Spotify? It's free to have on your computer, and you can listen to pretty much anything you want, as long as it's available on Spotify. You can make playlists, recommend tracks to friends who use Spotify (you can connect to Facebook), and install some of their apps into the music browser to make your music listening more enjoyable. It's like Pandora, but you have control over what you listen to. I pay $9.99 a month to have Spotify Premium and listen to my music on my phone (HTC Incredible 2 running Android 2.3.4). J also has a subscription because we were sharing mine and it would kick one or the other off when we tried to listen. Totally worth the $20/month between the two of us (because, frankly, it holds his CD obsession at bay until the new CDs he wants go on sale). I have several playlists at the moment. I'm loving my "Sing to the King" playlist, which is a bunch of worship songs I enjoy.<br />
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<b>2. The Hunger Games</b><br />
I, like most of the world, read the books a while back (shortly after they announced they were making a movie) and LOVED them. While I think the first book was the best of the trilogy, the whole series definitely gave me and everyone else something to think about. For example, reality TV: In the world of Panem, everything about the Hunger Games was broadcast. Everything. There were cameras in rocks, trees, the mud... Katniss knew that everything she was doing was being broadcast to the entire country because that's what had been done for each of the past 74 Games. How far away from that are we? Our country is obsessed with reality TV... Survivor is not that much different than the world of the Hunger Games, really. <br />
<a href="http://static.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/the-hunger-games-movie-poster.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://static.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/the-hunger-games-movie-poster.png" width="126" /></a>Anyway, I was anxiously awaiting the movie. Some people don't like seeing movie adaptations of books they loved because they are always disappointed. And I think that on some level, if you go in expecting everything exactly how you pictured it in the book, you <i>will</i> be disappointed. Because unless your name is Suzanne Collins or Gary Ross, it's not <i>your</i> interpretation. However, I try to stay as open minded as possible because books and movies are two totally different media. I thought the movie delivered. It was one of the best book-to-movie adaptions I have ever seen. Yes, there are some things they changed, but overall I walked out of there feeling like I saw a great book brought to life. They only showed The Hob briefly, but it was what I always pictured. And the stark contrast between the impoverished District 12 and the elaborate, superficial Capitol? A-freaking-mazing. I'm not going to talk too much more about it in case you haven't seen it. Just know that I loved it and can't wait to see it again. J and I are going to see it on Sunday. (I saw HP7.2 like 5 or 6 times in the theaters, and I can see that happening again with this movie.)<br />
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<b>3. Laughing Cow Light Swiss Cheese and Pretzels.</b><br />
YUM. That's all I really need to say about that. =)<br />
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<b>4. Draw Something</b></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/FCJPWXKrUgiQk9p3gQx8u4WJYJeq29GNFyxVfLLGRKLHuRbp-ORsSbVm4iFGojKSh3k=w124" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/FCJPWXKrUgiQk9p3gQx8u4WJYJeq29GNFyxVfLLGRKLHuRbp-ORsSbVm4iFGojKSh3k=w124" /></a>I don't often pay for apps, but this one was worth 99c in just the two days since I've bought it. I have a gazillion games going and I love it. It's so fun to see how other people interpret the different words. I'm even playing against my friend who is a graphic artist. So his drawings are ALWAYS better than mine. =)</div>
<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-21497822488684208682012-03-26T20:04:00.000-05:002012-03-26T20:04:25.029-05:00Update to my 101 listI need to address a few things regarding my 101 in 1001 list. (I'm loving doing it, by the way, so don't think that this is me bowing out.) Some things have changed and I need to update some stuff...<br />
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First, I had a self imposed deadline to establish #101 of April 1. I've figured out what I want to do as my last one, and it actually works nicely because it falls under the "Love" category.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Their t-shirt for their domestic violence campaign.</td></tr>
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<a href="http://sevenly.org/">Sevenly</a> is a non-profit that sells a different t-shirt each week. Shirts are $22 and $7 goes to the week's charity. Each shirt is only featured for a week and they don't ever make more than is ordered, so they are really a limited time only thing. This week's cause is Show Hope. More specifically, to help orphans in Africa. In the month or so since I've become aware of them, they have helped victims of domestic violence, raised money for clean water in India, and raised awareness for autism. I haven't bought one yet, but I think this is a really cool way to show support of a cause. So goal #101 is to buy 3 Sevenly t-shirts and 1 Sevenly hoodie. I have a friend who has bought several Sevenly shirts, so hopefully this won't turn into a new addiction of mine. =)<br />
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Second, we're quitting our gym, so as of right now goal #10 is up for grabs. I will think of something new by May 1, 2012.<br />
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I'm in the middle of something for #5, gearing up for #61, and am planning my first Facebook fast next week (#30). All in all, things are shaping up pretty well. (Also, I go to New York in 25 days!!)<br />
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-13565067499194214442012-03-17T08:23:00.003-05:002012-03-17T08:24:04.370-05:00BittersweetDid your grade school do Leprechaun traps as a project around St. Patrick's Day? Mine did, and I even did them with my Pre-K kids last year. That used to be the most significant thing about St. Patrick's Day in my mind. Not anymore.<br />
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Now, St. Patrick's Day has two very large, very important memories attached to it. Which makes today very bittersweet.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After the Chris Tomlin concert Nov. 2011</td></tr>
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You see, on St. Patrick's Day 5 years ago, Jerome got down on his knee and asked my the Question. The one that changes your whole life. Obviously, I said yes. We were celebrating our 2nd anniversary by doing dinner at the Top of the Riverfront, a rotating restaurant downtown on top of the Millenium Hotel. Then we went to the Arch grounds for a walk and he asked me to be his wife. (For those of you doing the math, we've been together for 7 years.) He's my best friend, and an incredibly Godly man, and I am so blessed to have him in my life.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">From J's aunt's Facebook page.</td></tr>
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But, also on St. Patrick's Day, 4 years ago (a year into our engagement), Jerome's cousin committed suicide. We were blindsided. He and Jerome were like best friends. They had begun sharing an apartment together, and David was to be a groomsman in our wedding. But even though they lived together, we didn't see any of the typical warning signs. No depression, no giving away of prized possessions, nothing. He was headed out to a friend's diaper poker party with brownies and Jello shots on Sunday and dead the next morning. He was smart. He was funny. He was kind. And we miss him.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-91443500160992711412012-03-17T08:04:00.005-05:002012-03-17T08:04:54.845-05:00Wow... Has it Really been 3 Years??<i>I typed this up on Monday or Tuesday with the intention of adding photos and posting it on Wednesday. Then time ran away, so I didn't get to it. Hence the 3 day late post, AND the double post...</i><br />
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3 years ago today was one of the best days of my life.<br />
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I got prettied up. </div>
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I took a bunch of photos</div>
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And most importantly,</div>
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I said "I do."</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Taken at my best<br />friend's wedding<br />October 2011</td></tr>
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Jerome and I have learned a lot over the last three years, and we're still learning. We're learning about each other and about marriage, and about who we want to be for the other.<br />
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It's been an amazing three years, but they've gone by so quickly. I know that when we're celebrating our fourth or tenth or thirtieth anniversary, I'll be saying the same thing.<br />
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When I said "I do," I didn't mean for that day. I didn't mean for the next few years. I didn't mean "unless we grow unhappy with each other." I said "I do" for my entire life.<br />
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I said "I do" to my husband and to God, and I made a promise, pledge, commitment, to both of them that I would be faithful, and loving, and respectful, and caring. But above all, that I would be THERE. My husband is my best friend, and I can't wait to see what the next three years bring.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-49851472504720585912012-03-13T17:06:00.000-05:002012-03-13T17:06:00.709-05:00I'M GOING TO NEW YORK!!! (part 2)So... remember how I booked a plane ticket to New York for March 30? That would be in 2.5 weeks. Except that about a month ago, the week after I bought that ticket, I remembered that March 30 was a bad weekend to go.<br />
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I already had plans.<br />
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My sister in law's wedding.<br />
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Yep, I had total tunnel vision when booking my flight. I was so excited about going to NYC that I didn't stop to think about what might be scheduled that week! Luckily, I was able to cancel my reservation and re-book. I even told my sister-in-law because I knew she would get a kick out of it!<br />
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So instead,I'm going April 20-23. Which is honestly probably better because it gives me a chance to save more money! =) I am very excited though. Any suggestions on what to see?Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-2705774162948591322012-03-12T16:54:00.003-05:002012-03-12T16:55:17.440-05:00Wow! It really works!I have a board on Pinterest that's called "<a href="http://pinterest.com/jessicahll/good-to-know/">Good to Know</a>." On it, I have things like easy ways to clean or things that make me go, "Whoa! Why didn't <i>I</i> think of that??!" One thing I've been wanting to try and see if it works is this one.<br />
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It's a method of cleaning those grease pans underneath your burners. Let's face it -- they aren't scrubbable. I don't care how long you let it soak in hot water with "grease cutting" detergent -- the nasty residue just WON'T COME OFF. It was annoying me, to the point where I contemplated just buying new ones and pitching the old ones. Then I saw that pin and thought, "$1 for ammonia versus $10 for new burner pans... May as well try it!" So I assembled my equipment:<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CT2XmMKop_w/T15rN3EgDWI/AAAAAAAACDQ/2u8M5Ux5tN0/s1600/IMAG0498.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CT2XmMKop_w/T15rN3EgDWI/AAAAAAAACDQ/2u8M5Ux5tN0/s320/IMAG0498.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
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I poured a capful or so of ammonia in a Zip Loc and then put the burner pan in there. Then I closed the bag and let the ammonia fumes do their work.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TDliunb2-PY/T15rQ75arVI/AAAAAAAACDY/WLT0JFf1CmU/s1600/IMAG0499.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TDliunb2-PY/T15rQ75arVI/AAAAAAAACDY/WLT0JFf1CmU/s320/IMAG0499.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
I left it for 2 days and when I was done, I had a bag of nasty dirty ammonia and a nice, clean stove drip pan.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-abZYgXfDRXg/T15rUAvzCKI/AAAAAAAACDg/P-M4OytYIOY/s1600/IMAG0500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-abZYgXfDRXg/T15rUAvzCKI/AAAAAAAACDg/P-M4OytYIOY/s320/IMAG0500.jpg" width="191" /></a><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9Ur-rIj_V4M/T15rYaTf-nI/AAAAAAAACDo/oLiX7aZu6Ug/s1600/IMAG0501.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9Ur-rIj_V4M/T15rYaTf-nI/AAAAAAAACDo/oLiX7aZu6Ug/s320/IMAG0501.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
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The ammonia fumes are what cleans the pans, not the ammonia itself, so once I closed up the bag, I tried to set it so that the ammonia was in a pool underneath the overturned pan. I love it when things like this work, because I hear that other things circling on Pinterest don't work. </div>
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<span style="color: purple;"><i>This is project #1 of my 3 Pinterest things I must complete for my <a href="http://brknmasterpiece.blogspot.com/p/101-in-1001.html">101 in 1001</a>.</i></span></div>
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-20117163103179055232012-02-07T20:31:00.000-06:002012-02-07T20:34:18.280-06:00I'M GOING TO NEW YORK!!!I've written about camp and how important it was (and still is) in my life. In addition to learning a lot about myself, I have made friends all over the world, thanks to the Camp America program. I've also made some of my best friends there. Laura was a CIT the year after me, a lifeguard with me for 2 years, and I swear we're twins separated at birth; she was a bridesmaid in my wedding. Tasha and I were the proverbial small fish in a big pond -- Christianity wasn't something that was "prevalent" among people at camp. There were a lot of atheists, Pagans, and just non-religious people, but Tasha and I bonded over our common faith. So much so that we ended up roommates her freshman year and my senior year of college. She was also a bridesmaid in my wedding.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-It-mFPXFcUg/TzHeFj2pqLI/AAAAAAAACDE/-esrVjK8fFY/s1600/me+and+bird.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-It-mFPXFcUg/TzHeFj2pqLI/AAAAAAAACDE/-esrVjK8fFY/s320/me+and+bird.jpg" width="196" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our first staff shirts ever!</td></tr>
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And then there are the friends I made who I was close to but never realized how much I missed them until they were gone. Bird (Becca) is one of those people. There was actually a summer (2006, I think?) when she wasn't going to come back because of some reason or another which made NO sense to me and Bunny (a girl who was in Bird's CIT group and ended up being my CIT counselor for 2 years). SO we waged war. Figuratively, of course. We got every staff member -- including people who had NEVER even met her -- to write letters talking about how much she would be missed and that she should come back. It worked. =) She worked another 2 years at camp after that, even joining the administration staff one year.</div>
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Then she joined the Peace Corps. And moved to Guatemala (because she's AWESOME like that!). And missed my wedding (which made me incredibly sad because it was a par-tay!). BUT she's back now and at grad school in NYC at Columbia. When she was home over Christmas, at a camp reunion of sorts, she mentioned how inexpensive it is to fly to New York (roughly $250 on Southwest if you catch the fares at the right time). Which made me think, "Dude, I could afford that!!"</div>
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When I filed our taxes, J and I decided to use $1000 of it to pay off debt and split the last $500. Which we did. And I bought my ticket tonight for the last weekend in March. I'm so excited. This will be the fourth time I've flown anywhere, the first with a layover (well... I flew to Hawaii when I was 5 but I was with my parents so that doesn't count), and my first time in New York City. I feel so grown up! =)<br />
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<i>This is the first part of completing number 61 on my <a href="http://brknmasterpiece.blogspot.com/p/101-in-1001.html">101 in 1001</a> list.</i></div>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-49952750603423467592012-01-31T21:33:00.000-06:002012-01-31T21:33:00.336-06:00Beginning Tomorrow: 101 in 1001Well, I did it! I was able to accumulate a list of 101 things I want to accomplish over the next 2 and a half years or so. It was kind of daunting. If you're interested in making your own, here is what I did: I sat down and typed as many things I could think of. I didn't worry about grouping them at all until I had a lot. For inspiration, I Googled "101 in 1001" to see what others came up with. There is also a website for <a href="http://dayzeroproject.com/">The Day Zero Project</a>, which can help you generate some ideas. Once you have those, then you can separate them into categories. Honestly, I went through several "organization" systems before I settled on mine.<br />
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My list includes "easy" things like try 3 new vegetables to "hard" things like have a baby and pay off debt and everything in between. There are no rules to the 101 in 1001 challenge, except that the goal must be measurable. I'm planning on blogging upon completion of each goal, but for the <a href="http://brknmasterpiece.blogspot.com/p/101-in-1001.html">full list</a>, you can find it up at the top of the page under the 101 in 1001 tab (imagine that!).Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-72421546509765085962012-01-29T21:33:00.000-06:002012-01-29T21:33:01.948-06:00One Year Later...My most successful resolution last year was to lose just under 30 pounds and get down to 200 pounds. You can see the whole reasoning behind my desire to lose the flab here, but here is my journey over the past year.<br />
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<a href="http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/154956_549193296666_159500839_32047873_3216076_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/154956_549193296666_159500839_32047873_3216076_n.jpg" width="320" /></a>I lacked will power. I lacked drive. I lacked inspiration. I was aware that I was gaining weight and that I wasn't happy about it. My goal had been to lose the pounds for my wedding and I did get down to about 210, but it didn't stick. So for almost 2 years, I gained back the 8 pounds I had lost, and then some. I felt gross and unsexy (not good for a new marriage) and am ashamed to admit that I was lazy. Losing weight takes a lot of effort, after all. I was complacent with how I lived my life, how I ate, etc. Did I really want to put in the effort?<br />
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<a href="http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/150881_549193680896_159500839_32047895_6753826_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/150881_549193680896_159500839_32047895_6753826_n.jpg" width="119" /></a></div>
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And then we took a trip to Memphis, went to the zoo, and took some photos. Like the one above. And this one (which, by the way, even though I hate the way I look in it, it makes me happy because I LOVE LOVE LOVE panda bears. And after looking at them, I realized I hated myself. I mean, not my personality, per se, but definitely the attitude I'd had. So I committed myself to losing the weight.<br />
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On January 1, I weighed in at 228 pounds. On January 31, I took a photo of my weight for my attempt at Project 365. 220. I was on a role! Haha. I outlined what I had done in this post. It basically consisted of knowing how much food I was putting in my mouth, drinking more water, and getting my tail to the gym.<br />
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I know that I have a little bit more to go, but the fact that I reached 200 gives me inspiration to make it down to 175. That is my ultimate goal weight. (As well as getting my swim back, haha. I want to be able to swim for 2 hours straight again without getting so winded!) But for now I'm focusing on maintaining the habits I've learned over the last year: lots of water, introducing more fruits and veggies, and portion awareness. With those 3 things in mind, I know that I can do it!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4371317270803762157.post-11133654460436037312012-01-16T23:03:00.002-06:002012-01-16T23:03:21.002-06:00Menu Monday<a href="http://plantoeat.com/ref/mtqoqjbdwt" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" title="Simple Meal Planning - Plan to Eat"><img alt="Simple Meal Planning - Plan to Eat" height="125" src="http://www.plantoeat.com/images/ads/meal-planning-website-plan-to-eat_125x125.gif" width="125" /></a>Before I start with this paycheck's menu choices, I wanted to recommend a website called <a href="http://plantoeat.com/ref/mtqoqjbdwt">Plan to Eat</a>. It's the best thing this Type-A person could have found! The only thing that would make it better is an Android app, =) It's easy to store recipes, and then plan your meal -- just drag and drop! While they offer a free 30-day trial, it's not a free service. It's $5/month but seriously it's the best $5 I spend every month. Give it a shot. ;-)<br />
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Onward, shall we? I've been pinning recipes like crazy for a while and try a new one each paycheck cycle. A few have been busts, but some have worked out well! I'll be marking my new recipe for the paycheck with an asterisk. We have a lot of other things going on, so on the nights we won't cook, I just won't put anything. There's usually plenty for leftovers, anyway.<br />
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<b>Wednesday Jan. 18</b>: Sloppy Joes & Baked potato wedges<br />
J and I are big fans of sloppy joes. With the potato wedges, I usually cover the wedges in a mixture of olive oil and some seasonings -- salt and pepper typically but sometimes I'll jazz it up and add some oregano.<br />
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<b>Friday, Jan. 20:</b> <a href="http://allrecipes.com/recipe/santa-fe-enchilada-bake/detail.aspx">Santa Fe Enchilada Bake</a><br />
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This one is delicious and so easy! I use fat free sour cream (shhhhh don't tell J!) and reduced fat shredded cheese, so all in all it's "delicious and nutritious!"</div>
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<b>Sunday, Jan. 21:</b> Pizza</div>
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I use <a href="http://allrecipes.com/recipe/valentinos-pizza-crust/detail.aspx">this recipe</a> for the crust and use store bought sauce and low fat cheese. Pretty much the only topping we agree on is pepperoni. I like pepperoni and bacon or pepperoni and green pepper, he likes supreme.</div>
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<b>Tuesday, Jan. 23:</b> Italian chicken & Roasted Red Potatoes*</div>
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One bottle of Italian dressing + 3 chicken breasts + 350 for 45 minutes = easy and delicious. I'm trying a new red potato recipe.</div>
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<b>Wednesday, Jan. 24 </b>Creamy Cajun Chicken*</div>
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Possibly my most anticipated<a href="http://www.eatliverun.com/lightened-up-creamy-cajun-chicken-pasta/"> recipe</a> -- which means I might make it closer to, well, now. Instead of using cream, though, I'm using half and half. I'll let you know how this one turns out!</div>
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Happy cooking! Don't forget to check out <a href="http://plantoeat.com/ref/mtqoqjbdwt">Plan to Eat</a>!</div>
<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04470578837931894724noreply@blogger.com0