What do I Know of Holy?

I know that those of you who read my blog read it for a variety of reasons. Maybe you're my friends/family who like to keep up w/ what's going in my life (and in my head, LOL). Maybe you're an STLWed friend who likes to read just 'cause you have nothing to do. Maybe you like my reflections on my faith, maybe not. If you're in the latter, you might want to just browse away from this post.

Still with me? Great.

A few months ago, my friend Lauren sang a song as our prayer of confession. We rarely do this. I think in the 6 years I've been involved in this church we've had a song as our prayer of confession. but sometimes it works and it's exactly the right avenue to speak with God.

Addison Road wrote this song and included it on their self-titled CD. "What do I Know of Holy?" is a song about how we try to make God fit into our image of what He should be, how we pray and pray but never take the time to listen. It's a song wondering if we'll know Him if He touches our face or looks right at us, would we know Him?

The second verse is poignant to myself, about how so many people learn to talk about His mercy and grace, but do we really believe it, or are they just words ona page? SOmetimes I have to take a step back and ask why I sing int he church band. Sometimes I take a week off simply because often my focus changes from Him to me. He isn't the reason I'm up there some Sunday mornings, sometimes it's me and wanting people to see my talents.

And I often think that that makes me a bad person, like I"m less than a Christian for allowing that to get in the way. but it just makes me human. I desperately want HIM to be my focus. In everything I do and say and think. There is a lot I need to work on, because I'm not perfect.

Here are the lyrics to the song that prompted this post:

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life it's name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

PRESIDENT Obama

I'm never one to raise a stink. I don't bring up politics or who I'm voting for/not voting for unless someone brings it up first because, frankly, it's not really anyone's business. But today I cant ell you that I am proud to admit that I voted for Barack Obama.

I didn't vote for him because he's black. I voted for him because he hass promised the change that this country so desperately needs. I voted for him because he will strive to keep those who can't afford health insurance (like my best friend and her 2 year old) able to go to the doctor. He will cut taxes on those who are already penny pinched and tax those who can afford it. He will work on a plan to get us out of Iraq and out of Afghanistan.

Will he be perfect? No. Nobody is, but I have faith that he has the best interest of the country at heart. He loves America and he will strive to make our country better than it ever has been.

To those who voted for McCain, I give my condolences. I'm sure he would have done a fantastic job. But this country has had enough of Bush and his Republican doctrine. McCain would have been more of the same. I hope we can all band together as Americans -- not Republicans and Democrats -- and support our country.

Rehire Packets... Sigh

Every year I look forward to getting my rehire packet from Girl Scouts. And every year it seems to take longer. And longer. And l-o-n-g-e-r.

Not this year.

It was in my mailbox today. Normally I'd be squealing for joy. But what am I doing? Crying. Well, in my head, but still...

For those not in the loop. I'm getting married next year. In four months. And 11 days. (Not tht anyone's counting...)

Getting married usually = growing up, letting go of childhood. FOr me, that meant letting go of camp. But it's rough. Fourth session closing and post camp this year were emotional. I was saying good bye to my second home, and a family of people I probably never would have even ever spoken to in the real world. But I was okay with my decision. I mean, I'm marrying the greatest guy in the world, that should be enough, right?

Well, recently it started hitting me that I'm not going back. And I'm still okay with it. Or, at least half of me is. There's still that other half that says don't give it up. You're not ready. Meanwhile, the other half says, yes you are. It's like the angel and the devil on my shoulder.

Anyway, I'm not going back. Don't you camp people go getting your hopes up. I will be back -- but as a visitor. Not as an employee. And, really, as sad as I am tossing that rehire packet in the recycle bin, and to say goodbye to Speckles, I'm even more excited to become Mrs. Jerome Hall. New name, new life, new person... Just like at camp.

I'm a 'Porn' Addict

A Wedding Porn addict, that is. It's a term coined by Ariel of Offbeat Bride to describe the obsession that comes with planning a wedding: you jsut want to look at all weddings, all the time!

And it's true!! I stalk local photographer's blogs to find inspiration. I'm addicted to projectwedding.com. I love the forum at STLWed and all the girls (hi ladies!).

So, all you other wedding porn addicts, maybe we should start a 12-step program? Or does it fade once the wedding is over??

I Can't Wait

I was thinking yesterday, after having a great weekend with J, that while I'm excited about the whole wedding thing, what I am most excited about is just becoming his wife. Him becoming my husband. I look forward to supporting each other and seeing each other every morning when we wake up and every night before wee fall asleep. I look forward to the battles I know we're going to have when I bring home all organic food from the grocery store. I am excited for establishing a loving relationship grounded in God, leaning on the example set by CHrist and by so many couples in our church.

I can't wait until I can call him my husband.

And isn't that what I SHOULD be more excited about? I mean, the wedding is a big deal, but honestly if we couldn't afford anything but a courthouse wedding (thanks for the help, Mom!), I would be happy, as long as that meant I would be his wife.

What is your personality type?

And which careers are you best suited for?

Humanmetrics.Com has a personality test created by Jung to determine your personality. You can also find out what career(s) you're best suited for.

I am an ISFJ. That means I am introverted, sensing, feeling, judging.
Other ISFJs include Jimmy Carter, Jane Fonda, and Albert Schweitzer.
Being an ISFJ means that I am a moderately expressed introvert and very expressed judging personality. Good to know.
My jobs include social work, teaching (whew!), religious positions, nursing, paralegal, etc.

What about you???