Life-Changing, God-Inspired Week

I want to sit and write this while my week is still pretty fresh in my head. This is a long one, so if you need a bathroom break or a snack, you better go get it.

As I mentioned in my quick post, this ranch takes in about 20-25 boys in the foster care system in Georgia. Some are only there for a short time while their parents work out arrangements with the courts, others have had parental rights permanently suspended and are looking for forever homes. Many of the boys come from abuse and neglect. Others have parents who are addicted to drugs, in jail, or dead. A few have been in jail themselves. All of them come to the ranch lost, and while staying there, get found.

I'm not saying that they have some kind of spiritual revival there, necessarily, but all of these boys come from backgrounds in which they don't know what love is. not REAL love. They don't think they're good enough to be loved. If they've gotten into trouble, they wonder if they can ever be forgiven.

And then they meet Zach. And John. And Trudy. And Rachel, Kris, Jen, Joanna... EVERYONE who works on that ranch has taken to heart the mission Jesus gives us to serve the orphans and widows in James 1:27, and to serve "the least of these" )Matthew 25). They KNOW what it means to be the presence of Christ to a lost and broken world, because the boys they come to know and love ARE broken. On this ranch, there is healing.

On this ranch, there is God.

Being able to come down in my group of 13 -- people from ALL over the country -- was an honor. A privilege. A blessing. Yeah, that's it: a blessing. We arrived in Atlanta on Monday complete strangers and somehow, on the hour long van ride to the ranch and through lunch, we became a team. This team was able to gravel a road in 2 hours. This team converted a horse stall into a room and tore down a few walls in the barn to make a school. This team cleaned out an old pump house and helped lay an irrigation system. And this team loved.

I can honestly say that this mission trip was more personal than one I've ever been on in the past. I loved getting to know Chester in October of '07, and hearing the story of Nick and his family's struggles after Rita, and working on the trailer on the shore that was destroyed later that year by Hurricane Ike. But nothing hit me the way that those boys did. I don't know if it's my heart for youth ministry or my passion for teaching or what, but something about them made me stop and go, "Huh."

On Wednesday night we had a service down by their lake and 2 of the boys gave their testimony. One had been on the ranch for only 3 weeks and said, "I feel loved." I don't know much about his story, but I do know that fifteen year old boys do not openly talk about their feelings. And it was the way he said it, the emotion you could hear in his voice that gave it all away. The other boy had been on the ranch for 5 years and in his story, he said, "I don't know God exists because of the trees and everything around me, even though they're beautiful. I know God exists because of the people here on the ranch."

Love.

Do we ever give enough of it away? Do we ever, truly, love unconditionally? I'm not sure I do all the time. I know that there are thoughts that come through my head that I'm ashamed of, that aren't loving. It's human nature, right? And yet... The people on the ranch. The houseparents, the office staff, the administration... THEY know what love really is and they show it to these beautiful, broken boys every day, and help lead them to healing.

SO I was challenged last week. To really remove all of the filters in my heart. Do I love like I should? Not yet. But I want to. The impact that those adults had on those boys is why I want to be a teacher. I want kids to know that they are loved, that they are worth something, that they can be healed. Especially if they are from broken homes like so many of those boys.

The other thing that struck me this week about the boys was how eager the boys were to serve. They served each other, their houseparents, us... It's like pulling teeth sometimes to get my high school youth kids to do something, and these boys were more than eager to use the power tools to install that floor. They were eager to get us more food or another soda, or to clear our plate. And they were eager to shovel rocks all over a road. I'm 24 and I know that I would never want to get up at 8:00AM on MY spring break to move rocks around on a road. BUT THEY DID. Whether they wanted to or not, they did it. And I didn't hear a gripe out of any of them.

Can that be said of me? Of you?

Certainly not of me. There were a few moments today, even, that I caught myself complaining about the work I had to do (especially when one girl needed a dirty diaper changed... it was bad, people). I'm challenging myself to be aware of my thoughts. TO be more positive. To serve.

Life-changing. God-inspired. Challenging. Refreshing. Renewing. There are dozens of words I can use to describe my trip. But the lessons I learned, and the challenges I now face can't be summed up in words or this post would never end. I hope to go back to GVBR. And maybe I will next year. I don't know, we'll see where God leads me. But one thing is for sure: The person I was when I got on the plane in St. Louis Monday morning is not the person I was when I got off of it on Friday. And to that, I say, "Hallelujah."