Godly Marriage

**I want to warn the casual reader that I'm about to get real deep in something God has put on my heart recently. If you're not in a spot in your life where you're comfortable discussing God, you may want to skip this post 'casue it's full of Him.**

Recently, it's like God has been making me think about marriage -- mine in particular. no, there's not "trouble in paradise" but there are things that J and I agreed to when we got married that we've kind of fallen through on. The idea that he should be the head of me, to lead us in prayer/devotions/what have you is something that we took seriously two years ago as we said our vows, but we haven't particularly delivered on that promise.

There are verses all over the Bible, particularly the new testament that discuss the role of the husband and the wife. Husbands are to be the head of the family, and the wife is to submit to her husband. This makes people incredible on edge: "My husband will not control me." "That's right woman, I'm in charge."

Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church did two sermons about two years ago about the role of the man and the woman in marriage. I haven't listened to all of the one about women, but J and I listened to the message about men. Warning: He is BLUNT. I mean, he doesn't skirt around the issue. Towards the end, he even YELLS at his congregation (and those of us listening), telling men "shame on you" for not respecting women in a way that God calls them to do.

I also listened to this teaching from Marcus Mecum of Seven Hills Church (we went there one Sunday last summer as we passed through Cincinnati on our mission trip and were incredibly impressed). This one is about men's role in the church. It's not as blunt as Driscoll's teaching, but it is still very straightforward -- men have to counsel younger men in being leaders in the church. Women outnumber men in the church, partly because so much of the "church experience" relates to aspects that women identify with -- feelings and "talking" and whatnot. Young men are getting lost in the shuffle because older men aren't taking the time to mentor them, and older men aren't taking the time to align themselves with God's image anyway.

I'm trying not to be too preachy, because my husband and I have dropped the ball as well, but God intended marriage to be this way for a reason. "As goes the father, so goes the family, so goes the community, so goes the world." That was something a professor of mine said in one of my ministry classes in school, and I think it's incredibly true, especially now. If men would step up and take care of their families, we would start seeing a difference in the world.