I'M GOING TO NEW YORK!!!

I've written about camp and how important it was (and still is) in my life. In addition to learning a lot about myself, I have made friends all over the world, thanks to the Camp America program. I've also made some of my best friends there. Laura was a CIT the year after me, a lifeguard with me for 2 years, and I swear we're twins separated at birth; she was a bridesmaid in my wedding. Tasha and I were the proverbial small fish in a big pond -- Christianity wasn't something that was "prevalent" among people at camp. There were a lot of atheists, Pagans, and just non-religious people, but Tasha and I bonded over our common faith. So much so that we ended up roommates her freshman year and my senior year of college. She was also a bridesmaid in my wedding.

Our first staff shirts ever!

And then there are the friends I made who I was close to but never realized how much I missed them until they were gone. Bird (Becca) is one of those people. There was actually a summer (2006, I think?) when she wasn't going to come back because of some reason or another which made NO sense to me and Bunny (a girl who was in Bird's CIT group and ended up being my CIT counselor for 2 years). SO we waged war. Figuratively, of course. We got every staff member -- including people who had NEVER even met her -- to write letters talking about how much she would be missed and that she should come back.  It worked. =)  She worked another 2 years at camp after that, even joining the administration staff one year.

Then she joined the Peace Corps. And moved to Guatemala (because she's AWESOME like that!). And missed my wedding (which made me incredibly sad because it was a par-tay!). BUT she's back now and at grad school in NYC at Columbia. When she was home over Christmas, at a camp reunion of sorts, she mentioned how inexpensive it is to fly to New York (roughly $250 on Southwest if you catch the fares at the right time). Which made me think, "Dude, I could afford that!!"

When I filed our taxes, J and I decided to use $1000 of it to pay off debt and split the last $500. Which we did. And I bought my ticket tonight for the last weekend in March. I'm so excited. This will be the fourth time I've flown anywhere, the first with a layover (well... I flew to Hawaii when I was 5 but I was with my parents so that doesn't count), and my first time in New York City. I feel so grown up!  =)

This is the first part of completing number 61 on my 101 in 1001 list.

Things I'm Excited About

Here are the top five things that I'm excited/obsessing about/ =)

1. Harry Potter And the Deathly Hallows Part 2. Yes, I saw the first part 5+ times -- in theaters (only once on DVD). Yes, I am seeing this one at midnight. Yes, I am working ten hour shifts on both Thursday AND Friday. Yes, I realize I'm crazy. To help feed your HP fever (you know you have it), here are some featurettes detailing different parts of the movie:

The Story of Severus Snape


Harry v. Voldemort


The Horcruxes


Gringott's and Goblins


Where We Left Off (In case you aren't crazy like me)

2. My friend Veronica is having her baby today!! She hasn't found out what she is having, so I'm excited to see how that turns out. I think it's a girl, but a lot of her friends on Facebook think it's a boy. We'll see!

3. Rocky Mountain High. I'm working 5 10 hour days this week to make up for the fact that I'm going to Colorado! One of these days, J and I will actually take a vacation on our own, but in the meantime, I enjoy our trips with the youth group. Last year we went to West Virginia, this year Colorado, and we're discussing an international trip in a few summers. I haven't been to Colorado since I was about 9 or 10, and I've never been to the conference we're going to, so it'll be exciting.

4. I'm a guest post! Remember my last post when I talked about camp? One of the ladies I met on Facebook (who went a few decades before I did) has a blog. I made a comment on her blog the other day and she turned it into a guest post! Yay for me! You can read it here.

Things I've Been Thinking About This Week

This week, I had the pleasure of attending an alumni night at camp. Now, I'm only 3 years out since my last summer at camp, so while it was fun it wasn't as meaningful to me as it might have been to others. Thanks to an alumni group on Facebook (for those who worked in the '70s and '80s... they let me in 'cause they're nice and 'cause I LOVE learning about camp before I was there), I have met some really cool people and have learned a lot about some of the things I remember about my "early years" at camp (the '90s).

It's also helped me remember a lot of things about camp that were on the brink of being totally forgotten forever. I mean, when I was at camp, I was the one person who had been there the longest (15 years -- go me!) and a lot of the stuff I remembered from when I was a kid, I was alone in remembering. I would tell "remember when..." stories at 18 and the campers would look at me like I was crazy!

Some of the things I've enjoyed reminiscing about this week:

1. The old shower house. This was basically a room. With pipes across the top. No ceiling. No stalls. Psh... Modesty? What's that? The temperature of your shower depended on the time you showered. You pulled a string and that is what turned the shower on. Good luck showering with both hands because you had to hold the string the WHOLE time. By the time I was about 12, I was tall enough and had figured out how to tie the string to the pipe to keep the shower on so you could use both hands to wash my hair. OH! And there were stalls that were designated to be used for those with athlete's foot. We would hold towels up for each other while we changed (wearing flip flips, of course). If a counselor had to walk through the shower room, they had to yell "Showers off!"

2. The way camp was organized. I mean this in reference to the programs and the session lengths. When I was a camper, you had a few options: one week (Potpourri) or two? If you went two, did you want bikes (Free Wheelers), horses (Bits 'n Bridles/Saddle Sense), neither (Kaleidescope), or would you rather get to know the dirty side of camp (Roughin' It)? Or CIT/WIT. Very simple. Now you can choose 3 days, one week, or two. But you can also choose sports or theater or Harry Potter (dead serious). Perhaps you like water or arts and crafts? This change has gotten a lot of heat from former staff members. I can see both sides of the argument. On one hand, you want camp to always remain the place you went to and fell in love with. On the other, sometimes camp has to change simply because if it didn't, girls would come.

Also, in 2003, they revamped how long a two week session was. Instead of Sunday=the following Saturday, it became Sunday-the following Friday. Not a huge thing, but a big change, especially because the year they changed that was my first year as staff. Which meant that year was TOUGH for me. I almost didn't come back.

3. How much I freaking NEEDED that place. I learned a lot there -- about myself, about nature, about others, about friendships. I did a lot of growing up in those hills, and I wouldn't trade those memories for anything. <3

Tears and Stress

That's what the last few weeks have been full of. It's like J and I finally ssee a light at the end of the tunnel, where we'll be able actually make all of our bills and everything and -- gasp -- still have money leftover for US, something happens.

On June 17 (a Wed.), I got home from church just fine. Then J and I realized we needed to make a Wal Mart run and got back in the car about an hour later. And it didn't start. Had it towed Thurs. morning, had a new starter put in, took it home. Got back in the car and it wouldn't start again. Luckily my stepdad got it started and i drove it to the shop where they put in aNOTHER new starter the next day. It's been fine. Till today. When it didn't start. AGAIN.

So the shop is paying for a tow, and they better be paying for the repair, as well, because it's obviously more than a starter, which means it's something they should have caught. I love our mechanic -- I never feel like I"m getting ripped off, and he knows me by name. However, this is TICKING me off.

Needless to say I've been crying lots of tears of frustration, especially sicne I still haven't found a teaching job. Not for lack of trying, of course. THankfully, I've been busy with babysitting and working at the bookstore, so while money is tight, it's not penny pinching tight anymore. My student loans set in this month, though, which I'm not looking forward to paying... Grr.

Anyway, on to better things. Because money stresses everyone out, right?

I've spent what little free time I have had recently reading. As a result, I've gone through about 20 books this summer already. If I get the time, I'll list 'em all, but I want to mention one book right now: The Chosen One. It's a YA novel, and as a result I read it in about a day, but it was soooo good. Kyra is 13 and lives in a polygamist compound in the middle of the desert. She is told by the Prophet that she will marry her uncle in one month, and Kyra flips. The whole book is told from her POV and you really ache for her.

I've managed to make it to camp a few times this summer. Once for campfire, and one time (each) for picking up t-shirt designs/money. I was down just this past weekend for First Aid Training with my girls. I can't believe they'll be FORMER CITs in just three days!! It feels like I was jsut meeting them last summer! They've had a good time, though, despite having brand new staff to adjsut to -- I (obviously) didn't return because I got married, and Bunny, their counselor last summer who was supposed to be their CIT Director had to take a class this summer in order to finish her degree. I missed hanging outwith them, though. That was, like, the best thing about my job: developing friendships with my girls.

Weird...

...Pre Camp started yesterday at camp. This is the first summer in 6 years that I haven't been there and the first summer in 15 that I haven't gone to camp for even a week! SO STRANGE. But so funny: every pre camp for the last 6 years, it has rained on the first night. And, sure enough, it rained last night! Ha ha. Isn't that weird??

Anyway, since I'm feeling nostalgic, I thought I'd give people a peek into my past: as "Baby Speckles!" It's always fun looking at old pictures, right?? Here we go:

This is literally the only picture I have from my first year at camp. 1994. I was eight and it was probably the only year I ever got homesick. I rememberr idolizing our live-in Esther and searching for my counselor Finn's real name in her shirt -- while she was wearing it. I'm wearing the dark blue Atlanta shirt in the middle. I think the other two girls were the girls in my cabin w/ me.


These are the cabins that we stayed in in '94 and '95. It's where the littlest girls stay every time because they're small and more enclosed than a tent, so the girls don't get so scared. I wrote many letters and played many card games during Siesta on that balcony.


This was taken by my dad in '96 when he dropped me off at camp. It was the first summer after my parents split up, and camp really gave me a chance to let go and be myself for the first time in a few months. I loved camp before, but this is probably the first year that I realized it's true value in my life. My devotion to it basically exploded this year. (And yes, I'm wearing a sundress... probably w/ shorts underneath. And yes, I realize NOW how goofy that was, but trust me, I was not the first, nor was I the last to wear a dress/skirt on the first day.)


1997 was the first year I was called Speckles and it stuck for the next 11 summers. My tentmates and I became great friends, and one of them was even a CIT with me the first year. I made my first deaf friend that summer and I wish we hadn't fallen out of touch 'cause she was so sweet. (And the Troll bedding on the right? My bed. Yeah, you're jealous.)


1998 was my first time going for 2 weeks and it was the only year that I ever wasn't truly myself. My tentmates were 3 years older than me and thought my taste in music was immature, so, among other things, I totally lied about it all. (The music I liked? Spice Girls and Britney Spears. I have since seen the light, trust me.)

In 1999, I reunited with my best friend. She had gone with me in 1995 (she's on the balcony) but we hadn't been able to coordinate summer schedules the following summer so we went separately (and she met Starla, her buddy the following 2 years... I was so jealous!). Anyway, in '99 we were some of the oldest in the unit and it was the year that I realized I wanted to work there. It's also the first year I have any recollection of the CITs. And they were cool. Real cool.


In 2001, I was a Counselor-in-Training for the first year. There were 12 of us and we had so much fun! I went for 2 two week sessions because the CIT program is for 4 weeks one summer and 4 weeks the following summer. (Oh, and fun note, my CIT Director is now a meteorologist for Channel 2.) That summer I made amazing friends, many of whom I'm still close with today. And my best friend was a CIT, along with the girl I was way jealous of. The first picture is of the whole group. Of that 12, only 6 of us returned the following summer for CIT 2. The second shot is of my and my best friend's new friend. (This past summer we had a talk about that whole situation adn how I was so jealous of her. Turned out she was jealous of me, too, since H always talked about me!) We're total opposites, but we got along real well.



2002 was CIT 2 year. This year is always hard for the CIT 2's because it's essentially our (their) last year as campers. They learn so much about how camp runs that there isn't really any going back. You also have to say goodbye to the girls you've lived with for the last 8 weeks -- laughing, crying, goofing off, singing, planning pranks and campfires. It was bittersweet but so much fun. The first shot is one of us in the brand new shower house. We also had 2 Lifeguards in Training with us for two weeks. The second session, only one returned. The second photo was on the last morning. We had moved ALL of the tables and chairs out of the dining hall for breakfast and it was a breakfast to remember. (The following year, meals were changed to cafeteria style, and the sessions ended on Fridays, so this truly was a unique breakfast.)




Have I bored you yet? If you hung int here with me, thanks for letting me reminicse! I'll put in another post of my 6 years as staff soon.

Rehire Packets... Sigh

Every year I look forward to getting my rehire packet from Girl Scouts. And every year it seems to take longer. And longer. And l-o-n-g-e-r.

Not this year.

It was in my mailbox today. Normally I'd be squealing for joy. But what am I doing? Crying. Well, in my head, but still...

For those not in the loop. I'm getting married next year. In four months. And 11 days. (Not tht anyone's counting...)

Getting married usually = growing up, letting go of childhood. FOr me, that meant letting go of camp. But it's rough. Fourth session closing and post camp this year were emotional. I was saying good bye to my second home, and a family of people I probably never would have even ever spoken to in the real world. But I was okay with my decision. I mean, I'm marrying the greatest guy in the world, that should be enough, right?

Well, recently it started hitting me that I'm not going back. And I'm still okay with it. Or, at least half of me is. There's still that other half that says don't give it up. You're not ready. Meanwhile, the other half says, yes you are. It's like the angel and the devil on my shoulder.

Anyway, I'm not going back. Don't you camp people go getting your hopes up. I will be back -- but as a visitor. Not as an employee. And, really, as sad as I am tossing that rehire packet in the recycle bin, and to say goodbye to Speckles, I'm even more excited to become Mrs. Jerome Hall. New name, new life, new person... Just like at camp.

What a Summer.

I've finally found some time to just sit and write about my summer. Let me start by saying that this was the best. summer. ever. I loved everyone I worked with at camp; everyone became such a great team. I love working with a staff like that. And my kids!!! I miss every single one of them. My favorite part of working with my kids is that they're old enough to care about me, like, as a person, you know?? Like, the younger campers fall in lvoe with you 'cause you're fun and have a good personality, but the CITs can appreciate you for who you are. As a graduation present for me, the CIT 2s made a scrapbook for me of their 2 years as CITs and pictures of my other CIT groups as well as letters from each of them, basically talking about the impact I made on them over the past 2 years. It really meant a lot to me. Talk about an emotional good bye, LOL.

My new group of kids I tried to sort of detatch myself from camp and them since I was trying to set up leaving, but it didn't work, LOL. I got attached to those kids too and while I know they're in GREAT hands (love ya, Bunny!) it makes me so depressed to know that I won't get to watch them finish the program. There were some rocky moments in their bonding time, but in the end, I think they all have realized the beauty of this program -- the sisterhood that develops between the girls in the program.

The last couple of nights were emotional train wrecks for me. luckily, I had my friend Bluegrass right by my side int he same boat as me -- leaving after 6 years as staff and just as many as a camper. It's incredibly difficult to leave a place which means as much to you as camp meant to her and to me. Pre camp and banquet were amazing. Can you say karaoke? ha ha. The food was amazing, we had Bread Co. for breakfast, and we were done around 12. Yes, you read it right: 12. Last year we were finished around 2. But then the tears started all over again 'cause it was really good bye once we had our pay checks. If you're on Facebook, check out my camp albums for pictures.

After camp, we went to Chicago. God, i love that city. It was me, Jerome, and 3 friends from camp. We found a decently priced hotel north of the city and we did a lot of stuff while we were there: Second City, a boat tour, John Hancock, shopping on the Magnificent Mile, Navy Pier, Chinatown... Had a blast! I'll add pictures from that later, I promise.

American Idol auditions were on August 8 in Kansas City -- close enough for me to go. But I didn't. Why? 'Cause I had to start student teaching on the 11th and I had to meet my teacher before then. Yes, I chickened out AGAIN. Why do I keep doing that? Ha ha.

Student teaching, though, is going WONDERFUL. Like, better than I ever could have hoped or imagined. My host teacher is 100% willing to let me jump in and teach when I'm comfortable. I've already taken over Calendar, afternoon read-aloud, and most paper work. I'll take over spelling next week and content (social studies and science) soon after that. Everyone has said that student teaching is time consuming, and I have no dodubt that it is, but with the proper time management skills, I have no doubt that I'll do fine.

As far as wedding plans go, we have bridesmaids dresses!! We picked them out last weekend and we'll be buying them in about a month. One of my maids wants to lose quite a bit of wight before March, so we're waiting as long as we can before we order them. We're meeting with a photographer tomorrow afternoon to talk about possibly negotiating her prices. Our photographer is pregnant and due on March 6 (nice timing, right?? LOL), so we're back at square one. And, perhaps the best news ever: our reception is paid for!! out of the generosity of my mother and stepfather. Aren't they great??

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I Love Ya, Tomorrow!

Tomorrow I leave for my last summer at camp. This is kind of bittersweet. Jerome says I'll be back; so does the camp director. Well, I may return, but not next year. Next year I want to be married to my husband. I want our first summer married to be one of us doing stuff married people do, LOL, not a summer of me being gone fo rnine weeks and only home every other weekend.

For those of you who are new to my world, I started attending this Girl Scout Camp in Pevely when I was 8 years old. It was kind of one of those things where my parents said, "Wanna try this?" And I shrugged and said, "Sure." Ha ha. Then it kind of snowballed from there. I went every summer from then on, even getting my best friend involved. We were COunselors-in-Training (CITs) together the summers we were 15 and 16, and while she didn't return after that due to an unpleasant experience, I did. I was a lifeguard for three years and then I took over the program that I had loved so dearly -- the CIT program.

I love working with my girls. It's so much fun getting them in July the first year and watching them learn, and then getting them again in June the next year and watching them GROW -- as youong women, as role models, as counselors. They're always a fun bunch and I'm sad that I have to leave my group of CIT 1s that I will start this year. CIT-dom is... sacred. You mock, but that's the way a lot of us loko at it. Those of us who fell in love with camp and counted down to the next summer we got to go from the day we got home (not even kidding) dreamed about being a CIT. THey were the cool older girls who sang at meal times and helped out the counselors every now and then. And the girls you're a CIT with, they're called 'sisters" for a reason. YOu learn so much about the other girls you're in training with; yoou live with them, you love them; you learn what makes them tick. You create memories that could last a lifetime.

And it's not just your CIT Sisters this happens with. I have friends from camp who were never CITs, but they fit in just the same. In the age of Facebook and e-mail, it's so much easier to keep in touch with friends you make at camp, and as a result, you stay closer to them. You see them when they're in town.

People ask me why I'm 22 and still work at camp -- Girl Scout Camp, nonetheless. It's simple, really. This is a place that was almost cheap therapy for me. When my parents divorced when I was ten, it was here that I could let it all go and not worry about putting on a strong front for my brother. It was here that Irealized I needed to just be myself. It was here that I found myself. Camp is not just a place: it's a state of mind; it's a refuge. I go back year after year after year because it's another home to me. It's done so much for me that I almost have to repay it somehow.

I realize that I spent most of this post talking about the people of camp and the emotional environment and didn't touch on the landscape: the rolling hills, the lake, the meadows, the effect that millions of lightning bigs have on a hillside at night. I figure the beauty of these things go unspoken. I wouldn't keep returning to a place that I thought was ugly. It's peaceful. It's awe-inspiring. It helps me connect with God.

Anyway, I leave tomorrow which means I won't be updating for a while, but I will post on my weeekends home and let you know how I'm doing. I may even post some pics. I wanted to post some pictures of little me at camp and of the camp itself, but my scanner isn't working.

Spring Fever

How come I have motivation out the butt to do my smaller assignments due later in the semester but can't get motivated to write the two big papers I have due in a few weeks? Grr... Seriously, though. I have 4 of the 6 assignments finished for SS Methods and I have 2 of 4 of my reading assignments finished. But my Theology and my Fairy Tale papers? I have barely even cracked a book. I'm a slacker.

Perhaps it's because I have wedding on the brain. I went shopping with my Maids this weekend and we found 2 dresses that we all LOVE. They kept looking to me for approval and I was like, "Listen. I gave you my requirements on the color. What you all pick is upto you." but it wasn't stressful AT ALL. It was a whole lot of fun, actually. And I can't wait to do it again. :-) I also tried on a few dresses for myself and found one that I LOVE. I won't post a picture, though, because I want people to be surprised, if that's the one I pick. :-) I also met with 3 florists over the last week. I've decided that my bouquet will be white tulips with dark blue delphinium. The girls will have white tulip bouquets. Jerome's bout will be a white tulip w/ csome delphinium and the other groomsmen will be just a white tulip. The ushers and dads will wear white sweetheart roses. The moms and musician will wear a white sweetheart rose(s) with delphinium. Exciting! And we've decided on our photog: Janie Wilkens, a woman we go to church with. Things are starting to come along and I still have 11 months! Who ever said wedding planning was stressful? (Watch, I'll be FREAKING OUT 10 months from now!)

I can't wait for camp. Tasha and I are obsessively talking about it all the time. It's only 8 1/2 more weeks. Yay!

Enchanted, Santa Claus, and interviews

Jerome and I saw Enchanted last night and it was worth every penny. (well, we got in on free passes, but had we paid $7.75 for our tickets it would have been worth the admission.) I am in LOVE with that movie and its soundtrack. Stephen Schwartz, who did the music to Wicked teamed up with Alan Menken to do it (they also teamed for The Little Mermaid). AMAZING. FANTASTIC. ANd every other word you can think of that mean "great." It's not your typical Disney princess movie (obviously), and there's humor in it for everyone to enjoy. PLUS, Idina Menzel is in it (even though not a whole lot) which right there makes it awesome (too bad she doesn't sing...)

I just finished reading The Autobiography of Santa Claus by Jeff Guinn. It was FANTASTIC. It was simply written and he took every aspect of the St. Nick/Father CHristmas/Santa Claus myths and explained where they came from. Whether it's completely true or not I'm not sure, but it was definitely wonderful story.

I had my interview with Brooke for the summer today. She's so awesome, really interested in hearing our ideas about how to make camp better not only for the girls but for the staff as well. I lost it a little when she asked me what advice I would give new staff members; I said make the girls feel at home and like they are loved and more than welcome because that is what really drew me in 15 (!!!) years ago. Camp has been kind to me and really helped me grow into who I am today and I'm sad that that chapter of my life is coming to a close. But I'm pretty much guaranteed to get my position (duh, who else would they hire?).

This weekend is a busy one... Sitting tomorrow, rehearsal Sat. morning, camp sleepover on Saturday, and performance on Sunday. Not to mention Christmas Eve/Day next week. Merry Christmas!!<