On My Mind

If you've been around this blog for anytime at all (Or even just since the last post), you know that music at church is a big deal to me. I've been singing in church since I was 17 and it has played a massive role in my relationship with God and I've made a lot of amazing friends. I also love my church I feel like it's been a steady source of comfort, support, and and incredibly welcoming place; a place where you can come as you are and we will love you.  I have a lot of friends at my church.

 Which is why this post is probably going to get me into a LOT of trouble.

 A year ago our worship leader stepped down. She wasn't leaving the church or moving, she just was stepping down. They were looking outside the church for a replacement and I committed to supporting and helping whomever they hired. Several people told me they hoped I would get it and I'm not going to lie, the thought crossed my mind, but I didn't voice that to but a few people. For six months, our piano player was our worship leader and she did the job wonderfully. Once the selection committee had whittled the candidates to two guys, they came in and worked with us and we voiced our opinion on who we liked. Someone was hired and in October he stepped in to the role. And since then I have had dozens of people come up and complain to me about his style of worship, about how I should have gotten the job, about how they wish we could go back to the way things "used to be." And I'm stuck in the middle. I may not get paid for it, but it is my job to get up there every Sunday and help lead worship. It is my job to support the worship leader. It is my job to help that worship leader create an atmosphere in which people can worship the Risen Christ and a loving God.

But right now it feels like a one sided effort.

Have I liked everything the new leader has done? At first, no. Change cause friction. And there was friction. He led worship differently. We went from piano-led to guitar-led and, yes, it was difficult for me, too. We went from female-led to male-led and, yes, it was difficult for me (mostly because I was used to being able to take melody all the time and now I can't all the time because of the differences in ranges of men's voices and women's voices). He introduced a ton of new songs (okay, that wasn't so difficult for me because there were a TON of songs I wanted to do but we couldn't because of our instrumentation). He staggers the singers in a way that we aren't used to and, yes, that was difficult. But you know what? I talked to him about it. I approached him in love and we talked about it. And guess what? When something he does pisses me off, I still talk to him about it. Because he's willing to listen.

A few weeks ago a lot of things came to a head at a rehearsal. Some things were said and feelings were expressed in a way that made me ashamed of my team. And my church home. Because in the six months he's been there, more people have complained to him than tried to get to know him. He's experienced more negativity from my family in the last six months than I knew could ever exist. And it makes me sad. And mad. And disappointed. And ashamed.

J and I went to another church on Easter evening. Some friends of ours had started attending and aren't firm in their religion (spirituality, beliefs, convictions, whatever) yet, so we wanted to check the place out, plus we're both so involved in ours that sometimes it's nice to go and just worship, and not have to worry about all the responsibility (or how people are going to respond to something new). The music didn't do it for me, to be honest, but the Pastor nailed it. You know how sometimes you get the right message at the right time? That is what happened for me last week.

I really hope I'm able to get this across correctly.

The pastor preached the resurrection story from Mark 16:1-8, with a focus on verse 7: "...go, tell His disciples and Peter that He is going before you to Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you."  The idea is that Jesus is everywhere before you are. Jesus knows everything before you do. And we constantly expect him to be in the same place we left him. In the same worship model. In the same conference. IN the same Bible Study. But Jesus doesn't stay the same. He doesn't stay in the same places. And he sure as heck doesn't want you to stay in the same, and int he same places. The pastor asked three questions in his sermon: 1. In the situation you're in or the person you're dealing with, where is Christ? 2. In that situation or person, what is He already doing? 3. How can I partner with Him?


That last one, in particular, struck a chord with me, because with all the drama going on at my church I think it's something we (even me at times) have failed to consider. We're called to be a missional church, but what does that look like? To me, it looks like we're partnering with Jesus to bring the church to the lost. And right now, I'm not feeling it. We're all so concerned with what worship has "become" (and in reality, it's not that much different than it used to be) that we've lost sight of Who is important, and what our call really is.

Listen, I get it. Worship is personal. I started this post with that statement. Worship is how you communicate with God, and vice versa, and it sets up your heart for the sermon. I understand how a "bad worship" can put you in the wrong place for a sermon. But I also think that half of worship is your responsibility. You have to come with your heart in the right place. That's not my job. That's not the worship leader's job or the pastor's job. When you enter church on a Sunday morning, are you prepared to worship? To partner with Jesus? Or are you prepared to find any and every thing you can to criticize what's going on. Because I can guarantee that Satan will take that negativity and make it bigger and bigger and bigger until finally it explodes and some one writes a blog post about it feelings get hurt. That's what he does. The question is, are you going to let him? Are you going to partner with Satan, or are you going to partner with Jesus?

It's very possible this post will self destruct. I know I'm going to piss off a lot of people because of what I just said and I may end up taking it down, or being asked to take it down.  However, this doesn't just apply to my church. There is a term "worship wars" for a reason, and while I don't necessarily think that is what's happening in my church (maybe to an extent), I do know that because worship is personal, people feel very invested in it.  So whether you're in my church or a church somewhere else going through the exact same thing, here is my challenge to you tomorrow and next Sunday and the next and the next:

Partner with Jesus. Find one thing you like about your new worship leader (or even new pastor/youth leader/children's ministry leader), AND TELL THEM. Introduce yourself. I'm not saying it's going to change over night, but if we all agreed to partner with Jesus together, open a dialog about how worship (or sermons or youth ministry, etc) can be improved -- specific things, not just "make it the way it used to be" -- I can guarantee that Jesus will deliver. Because that's what He does. He's always willing to be there.

The question is, are you letting Him?

Why I Listen to Christian Music

For the purpose of this post, secular will be used to any music that is not sacred. It is not meant to be an offensive term, or derogatory, or used in a way that insinuates that secular (mainstream) music is bad. This post is entirely about my choice and it is not meant in any way to demean the choices you have made.


Music runs in my blood. My grandfather sang in the internationally acclaimed Ambassadors of Harmony for many years of my childhood, my mother plays the piano, and I did choir in grade school and band (clarinet) throughout junior and senior high. My brother plays the trombone and trumpet fluently (if you can apply that word to instruments) as well as a little of every other instrument since he studied music education for a while.

All this is to say that music has always been special in my life. In my faith, it's probably the biggest way I communicate with God. Some people are awesome pray-ers. (Seriously, how can people pray for hours on end???) Some people are great speakers. Music is my prayer. Music is my sermon. Music is my worship.

I didn't grow up going to church. I mean, I went to Sunday School with friends, I did AWANA, and I was baptized when I was about 12 -- because my friends did the same thing. Not because it was where my heart was. It wasn't until I was in high school that I started getting serious about my faith. And when I was invited to start singing on the worship team... I can't really explain what happened, but that was probably like my "great awakening" or something. I was baptized (for real this time -- my heart was in it) when I was a senior in high school and I've never looked back.

As I began singing on the praise team I began learning a lot of new songs. These were songs that I had never hear before or been exposed to. And in the days of Napster and Limewire, I was able to find just about any song I was looking for. I discovered artists like Nicole C. Mullen, Third Day, and Switchfoot. As time went on, I fell in love with the easy worship melodies of Chris Tomlin and Matt Redman.  And I realized how one simple chorus can be full of God's presence.

When J and I started dating, I was introduced to a lot more artists and together, we just kind of slipped into the decision that Christian music was the only music we wanted to listen to. Honestly, there wasn't a cognizant moment where we decided not to listen to the mainstream secular stations anymore. I just know that shortly after we started dating, I stopped listening to and even enjoying most secular artists.

Why? Mostly because of content, I guess. There is a lot of lyrics that focus on sex. Or materialism. Or just... things that I don't want to focus on. Paul says to focus on that which is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable (Phil 4:8). We're also told to make a joyful noise unto the Lord (Ps 100:1, and many other places). Because music is how I communicate with God, I want to stick to the guideline set forth in Eph 4:29 (Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful... NLT) and listen only to positive, music. A lot of times my quiet time with the Lord comes when I'm listening to Spotify in the shower or JoyFM in the car. The moments when I feel His presence the most and feel most in tune with him.

Now, this is my decision. I know a lot of people who enjoy Christian music and secular music. I also know a lot of Christians who don't like Christian music because a lot of the lyrics seem shallow. And the idea of a Christian music industry turns them off. Trust me -- in my time working at Family Christian I discovered a fair share of artists and bands whose music did nothing for me. Just because you sing of His name does not make you a good artist, after all.

But more often than not I find songs I love, songs that move me, songs that get stuck in my head for. days. because God is speaking to me through them. Those are the songs I LOVE. I also love that I'll have a song mean something to me one get-stuck-in-my-head cycle and something completely different the next.

And so I wrap up this longer than I planned post explaining myself with some of the songs that have been speaking to me recently. I hope that they will speak to you as well.

"Unashamed"

This past week, during Communion, we played this song.

I have not much

To offer You

Not near what You deserve

But still I come

Because Your cross 

Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King

Of sympathy

Whose wounds secure my peace

Your grace extends

To call me friend

Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak

I know I'm unworthy

To call upon Your name

But because of grace

Because of Your mercy

I stand here unashamed

I can't explain 

This kind of love

I'm humbled and amazed

That You'd come down

From heavens heights 

And greet me face to face 

Here I am at Your feet

In my brokeness complete

It's been stuck in my head all week.  J and I had an interesting conversation tonight about the meaning of the line "I know I'm weak/I know I'm unworthy/To call upon Your name." A friend of mine at church mentioned that she didn't like the song because of the idea that we're unworthy to come to God.  She believes that she is worthy to be in his presence. This raises some interesting points, about faith and about culture.

First of all, culture.  We live in a world where it's acceptable to demand, demand, demand.  not only that, but to EXPECT that the things we demand will be given to us.  I'm just as guilty as the next guy for falling into this trap.  We feel we "deserve" a better car, a bigger house, a larger TV, and Platinum credit cards.  We deserve to be treated with respect even though most of us live in our own little worlds, not paying attention to even our own spouses or children.  I guess it comes as no surprise that we feel we deserve God's love and grace in our lives. (Here is where we could totally get into an "original sin" debate, but I'm not going there.)

Which brings us to the caveat of our faith.  Our worldview often spills over into our approach to God.  We want Him now, in the way we feel He should be here, and in the time we specify.  We don't find a job in the time frame we want, we question His faithfulness (hello, totally guilty of that...).  Our friend dies too young and we wonder why He took him/her so soon, forgetting that He has a plan.  We don't always like His plan because it doesn't fit into our pretty little box of how we think our life should be. We deserve God's attention RIGHT NOW whether that's His plan or not.  "I'm in pain right now, God, and I deserve Your hand in this mess I am totally to blame for in."  "God, I gave you my life 17 years ago, and now it's time for You to do what I expect You to do -- be there and fix my mess."

But that's not how it works.  Not in the slightest.  We don't deserve Him.  We don't deserve His love.  Paul writes in Romans that we are all sinners, that we all fall short of the glory of God (3:23). Every. Single. One of us.  Fact of the matter is, we're all screwed. We're all destined for an eternity apart from God because we don't deserve to stand in His presence.  Except.

Jesus.

One man.  One cross.  Taking away all of our sins.  Glorious salvation.  That is what makes us worthy.  It's not because of who we are.  It's because of who HE is, and what HE did for us.  Even though we totally don't deserve any of His love, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, grace, mercy, etc, He made us worthy. It is through his sacrifice that we are able to come to God and worship, honor, and adore Him.  It is because of Jesus that we are able to live with Him for all eternity.

Even though we don't deserve it.

Even though we're totally unworthy.

God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8, NIV)

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Since my last few posts have been total downers, I need to back up and count my blessings.

1. I have an amazing husband who loves and supports me.


2. I have two adorable cats who are FINALLY getting along.


3. I have wonderful family who is always willing to help us out of a jam.


4. I at least have A job (or, rather... 7). While it may not be a full time job in education, it helps us pay the bills.

5. My church family is awesome. 'Nuff said.

6. My God loves me and while I may be frustrated and feel at my wit's end about this job thing, He does have His own timeline and will lead me to the right job in the right time (AKA HIS time).

And here is a song that I love to listen to and jam out. It's a reminder that we are God's and our life is His.

Merry Chrismas Music #2

I realize that I'm terrible at following through with things, LOL. I said I'd do this everyday and then... well... I didn't. Sorry.

At any rate, I think this song is appropriate for tonight, Christmas Eve. This is an original Christmas song by the prolific Chris Tomlin. I love this Christmas album for two reasons: it's a worship album above all else, and it was recorded live with some other amazing worship artists like Matt Redman and Christy Nockels. Definitely one of my favorite Christmas CDs.

This song is called Emmanuel (Hallowed Manger Ground). He sings of the star and the journey to the baby, and then of the sacrifice that Jesus ultimately was born to make. Chris really has been given a gift from God to know what to say and how to say it in a way that reaches people. LOVE this song.



I hope you have a very blessed Christmas!

Merry Christmas Music #1

In honor of the Christmas season, and the fact that I LOVE Christmas music (not the hokey stuff, the good stuff, LOL), I'm going to present to you a song every day or two that I love love love.

The first one is called "Magnificat." It's sung by Christy Nockels on Todd Agnew's Do You See What I See? CD. What I love about this CD is that every song is sung from the perspective of someone in the Christmas Story. This particular song is sung fromt he perspective of Mary:



I didn't realize it till after I listened a couple times, but this is Scripture in song. It's taken from Luke 1:46-55, when Mary is singing about her son -- THE Son.

My soul magnifies the Lord,
My spirit rejoices in my saviour,
He has seen the humble state of my heart, and now all will call me blessed.

Praise the almighty God; he's done great things for us,
Holy is his name,
His mercy is free for those who fear his justice,
May generation to generation loudly proclaim his fame.

Oh, his fame.

He has shown the strength of his hands and brought down the mighty from their pretense,
He scattered the pride in their hearts and lifted the lowly to meet him.

Praise the almighty God; he's done great things for us,
Holy is his name,
His mercy is free for those who fear his justice,
May generation to generation loudly proclaim his fame.

Proclaim his fame.

He has filled the hungry with good things...and the rich he sent, empty, away,
He hath remembered his servant Israel, and we will remember him always, always.

Praise the almighty God; he's done great things for us,
Holy is his name,
His mercy is free for those who fear his justice,
May generation to generation proclaim,
Praise the almighty God; he's done great things for us,
Holy is his name,
His mercy is free for those who fear his justice,
May generation to generation loudly proclaim his fame,
May generation to generation loudly proclaim his name.

When Love Was Born

I am loving this song. It's by Mark Schultz and it's on the Christmas compilation by the same total (An FCS exclusive... get yours today! LOL). It's called When Love Was Born and it is WONDERFUL.

Have a listen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjtxpHlnNdo

I want this album...

In May 2008, Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest daughter Maria was run over and killed as her older brother backed the family SUV out of the driveway. Many in the Christian entertainment industry -- and some in the mainstream entertainment industry, too, were heartbroken for the family. Maria had been adopted from China and would turn five soon. Chapman did what any songwriter would do in grief -- he wrote songs.

It started with just an added verse to his song "Yours" off of his CD This Moment. Then he wrote more and more songs and recorded them, which turned into recording a whole slew of songs for his new CD Beauty Will Rise. In an article in CCM Magazine, they wrote that he recorded a lot of the songs in one take, so the song is very raw and very honest. And it's getting rave reviews.

Here are a few that StereoTruth.Com has gathered:

The New York Times had this to say…
…the aching candor that suffuses the album, paired with Mr. Chapman’s unmistakable gift for melodic uplift, exerts a deep emotional pull. The production, leaner than usual, backs up the raw feeling behind the songs.

USA Today went on to say…
He quietly, thoughtfully works through his grief but never surrenders to despair. If you can’t imagine how to find hope out of such devastation, Chapman can show you.

ChristianityToday.com added…
After his daughter’s death, the veteran artist battles despair but finds hope in his most candid record to date.

Billboard Magazine has even stated…
Both intensely personal, yet universal as well, this is a brilliant, deeply moving album sure to resonate with listeners on many levels.


It's important to note that Chapman has been recording for almost 20 years. He knows how to write hit songs. He knows what sells. But what I'm looking forward to the most about this one is that, yeah, it was an album and I'm sure they wanted to sell it, but in all reality it's also an album full of a father working through his grief. And if these reviews are true, it's also true testament to the hope and healing power found in faith in Jesus Christ. This album will be amazing.

And now, i leave you with Chapman's first single "Heaven is the Face."



Heaven is the face of a little girl
With dark brown eyes
That disappear when she smiles.
Heaven is the place
Where she calls my name
Says, “Daddy please come play with me for awhile.”

Chorus:

God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more,
But God, You know, that this is what I’m aching for.
God, you know, I just can’t see beyond the door.
So right now...

Heaven is the sound of her breathing deep,
Lying on my chest, falling fast asleep while I sing.
And Heaven is the weight of her in my arms,
Being there to keep her safe from harm while she dreams

And God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more,
But God, You know, that this is what I’m longing for
God, you know, I just can’t see beyond the door.

Bridge:

But in my mind’s eye I can see a place
Where Your glory fills every empty space.
All the cancer is gone,
Every mouth is fed,
And there’s no one left in the orphans’ bed.
Every lonely heart finds their one true love,
And there’s no more goodbye,
And no more not enough,
And there’s no more enemy (no more).

Heaven is a sweet, maple syrup kiss
And a thousand other little things I miss with her gone.
Heaven is the place where she takes my hand
And leads me to You,
And we both run into Your arms.

Oh God, I know, it’s so much more than I can dream.
It’s far beyond anything I can conceive.
So God, You know, I’m trusting You until I see
Heaven in the face of my little girl,
Heaven in the face of my little girl.

What' on My Mind

3 Things that are ticking me off:
1. Not having money
2. In laws who shove their ideals down my throat unprovoked
3. not having a job

3 things that I'm excited about
1. Taking care of the family I used to nanny for next week
2. A 2-week (possibly longer) sitting job with an infant
3. Youth group starting back up

3 Things I am thinking about right now
1. The Flair I just made on Facebook is fun
2. I'm hungry
3. I really need to get up and clean the dang house

3 Things I'm Thankful for:
1. A husband who loves me
2, A cat who always knows when I'm about to wake up 'cause he's always sitting there staring at me
3. An AMAZING church family

3 Songs I Love
1. HE IS by Mark Schultz
2. THE WORDS I WOULD SAY by The Sidewalk Prophets
3. UNTIL THE WHOLE WORLD HEARS by Casting Crowns

3 Books on my Reading List
1. DO HARD THINGS by Alex and Brett Harris
2. THE NOTICER by Andy Andrews
3. LIES WOMEN BELIEVE by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

3 CDs I can't Wait to Buy
1. Mark Schultz's COME ALIVE (out now!)
2. BarlowGirl's LOVE AND WAR (out Sept. 8!)
3. Casting Crowns' UNTIL THE WHOLE WORLD HEARS (out Nov. 17!)

Hope you enjoyed that brief glimpse into my life right now. =)

Sidewalk Prophets

OK, I know that my last post was about a song, but I have to post about this one, too. I promise I'll put in a real post tomorrow or Thursday.

This song is by the Sidewalk Prophets and it's called "The Words I Would Say." I can't currently find a video or MP3 to embed here, so you'll have to listen to it on their website.

The lyrics of the chorus have been resonating in my mind for the last few days:

"Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope
You're gonna do great things, I already know
God's got His hand on you, so don't live life in fear
Forgive and forget, but don't forget why you're here..."

The first two lines in particular have been my mantra, especially since I found out that the Pattonville job is on hold (they aren't hiring anybody for it). I know that God has big things planned for me. I just need to trust in Him and know that He'll lead me to the right job. Until then, I'll be subbing any day that I'm not working at the bookstore which is pretty good money, as well as babysitting.

Enjoy the song!

This is Not Forever

One of my favorite bands is BarlowGirl, and I'm so excited that they have a new CD coming out in September called Love and War. Septemberr 22 is the release date so you should mark your calendars.

They've posted two acoustic sessions with 2 of the new songs. One is called "Beautiful Ending" which is really pretty, but the one which struck a chord with me is "This is Not Forever." In the video, which I have posted below, Alyssa talks about how she is always praying that God will pull her OUT of hard times, and she had the realization the day she wrote the song that God doesn't want to pull her out. He wants to pull her THROUGH the hard times, so that she'll learn and grow and trust in Him more.

This one hit home for me because, as you all know, I have been looking for fall employment. I haven't had any calls for interviews except one, which I'm actually waiting as I type this to hear back about. J and I have been pinching pennies and getting frustrated because every time we seem to be getting somewhere, something sets us back. (Such is life, no?) I've been praying so hard about finding a job and this message is exactly what I needed to hear right now -- that God will stay with me through everything, no matter how hard life gets, no matter "how high the steps are." He's with me always and He will always pull me through.

So, What's New?

I promised you a substantial entry, so here it is!

First, I want to talk about American Idol. Tuesday night was probably the best perfomance show I have EVER seen. (I mean, I still FFWDed over Adam, but...) All of them were so awesome that I didn't even try to pick a bottom two, only that Matt would be the one to go. And you know what? This was when he SHOULD have gone home and I'm glad the judges used their save on him. Although I wonder how everything would have fallen had Alexis not gone home in 11th place? I love how surprised Allison and Danny were to find out they were the top 2. Like, what?! I hope that Adam goes home next week or the next, but he probably won't. My ideal order would be Adam, Danny, then a Kris and Allison finale. But that's me. What do you think?

Second, my cat is so weird. I wanna share a story with ya real quick: Last night there was a beetle that kept flying at our living room window (which is low enough for him to jump onto from the floor) and he kept trying to catch it. Through the glass. And then his butt fell off of the ledge and he's like hanging there for dear life with his front paws. Too cute!! I was ROLLING.

Third, I finally convinced J to switch to U-Verse. We're paying a tiny bit more, but we're getting a LOT more channels than we have now, plus better DVR options. They're coming on May 13 and I can't wait!! I can watch my DVRed shows upstairs or he can watch TV upstairs while I watch my DVRed shows downstairs. That's his biggest gripe; I always want to watch my shows the NIGHT they're on because I catch up on all the blogging and gossip the next day.

J and I might be going to see Casting Crowns in Poplar Bluff in June and I'm excited. It's all dependent on if he can get off of work the next day (Sat.) 'cause if we go, we'll get a hotel since it's 3 hours away. I didn't get to see them the last time they were in town because J's friend only had one extra ticket. I was bummed because I LOVE CC. They always put on a great show.

Oh, and an update on something that I posted a few days ago, I was able to order my cap and gown. Turns out ordering doesn't end when they say it does for slackers like me who miss the deadline. ;-)

What do I Know of Holy?

I know that those of you who read my blog read it for a variety of reasons. Maybe you're my friends/family who like to keep up w/ what's going in my life (and in my head, LOL). Maybe you're an STLWed friend who likes to read just 'cause you have nothing to do. Maybe you like my reflections on my faith, maybe not. If you're in the latter, you might want to just browse away from this post.

Still with me? Great.

A few months ago, my friend Lauren sang a song as our prayer of confession. We rarely do this. I think in the 6 years I've been involved in this church we've had a song as our prayer of confession. but sometimes it works and it's exactly the right avenue to speak with God.

Addison Road wrote this song and included it on their self-titled CD. "What do I Know of Holy?" is a song about how we try to make God fit into our image of what He should be, how we pray and pray but never take the time to listen. It's a song wondering if we'll know Him if He touches our face or looks right at us, would we know Him?

The second verse is poignant to myself, about how so many people learn to talk about His mercy and grace, but do we really believe it, or are they just words ona page? SOmetimes I have to take a step back and ask why I sing int he church band. Sometimes I take a week off simply because often my focus changes from Him to me. He isn't the reason I'm up there some Sunday mornings, sometimes it's me and wanting people to see my talents.

And I often think that that makes me a bad person, like I"m less than a Christian for allowing that to get in the way. but it just makes me human. I desperately want HIM to be my focus. In everything I do and say and think. There is a lot I need to work on, because I'm not perfect.

Here are the lyrics to the song that prompted this post:

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life it's name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

My Wedding Dress and Agape

I found my dress on Friday. I'm not going to post pictures, though (sorry... wanna maintain that awe factor... trust me, it's killing me not to, too). I can tell you that it is a halter top, ivory, and simple in an elegant sort of way. Which, if you know me at all is TOTALLY my style. There's no beading or rhinestones or anything on it, though I'm looking for a brooch to use instead of this stupid flower that's on there. But it will be fun getting my accessories; looking for things which will accent my dress and can be a little more blingy, so to speak, than I would get if my dress had beading and stuff on it.

The best part? I'm spending less than $400. Is that tacky to tell you? Well, I don't care. I love finding a bargain. Ha ha.

Yesterday, J and I went to Agape Fest in Greenville, IL. It was a lot of fun but sooooo windy. I kept a blanket wrapped around me most of the day. I loved hearing Storyside:B for the first time live, and the Afters. But my favorite, of course, was BarlowGirl. Here's what I love about them: They are so honest on stage. I really feel like what I'm seeing is not an act. When they talk about God they are serious about it. They aren't just challenging us to be a voice without doing it themselves, or without having Scriptural back up (in this case, it was 1 Peter 2:9). And while they played the same set that they did 3 months ago at winter jam, it was still amazing. They do this medley (the "Love Medley" as I like to call it) where they sing "I Believe in Love," "I Need You to Love Me," and "I Could Sing of Your Love Forever." It's always an amazing worship set and I gotta be honest... it moved me to tears last night. A-mazing.

I will post pictures later. Now, I gotta get ready for church.