Merry Christmas!

As you open presents and spend time with family, I hope you are able to slow down and remember the Reason for the season.



Merry Christmas!!!

So excited...

I just logged on to my school's portal where I can check my grades, financial aid, etc, and I had a nice surprise waiting for me.

The school owes me.

A lot.

Like, $300+

And that's BEFORE I get my housing deposit back.

Woo hoo!!

Ha. In other news, J and I are almost completely moved in. I say almost because there are still boxes to unpack and my room at my parents' is still in shambles. But it's starting to look like our home. :-)

I had Christmas with my mom's family yesterday and I got the coolest present EVER. My uncle gave me a bass guitar. Well, technically, he's indefinitely loaning me a bass guitar, but still. I'm psyched to play it at rehearsal tonight. :-D

In case you were wondering, there's only 82 days until I get married!!!

Time to Enter Into Adulthood

It's moving day! Today and tomorrow, J and I will be working on moving out of my parents' house and his family's house into our own townhouse. It's all very exciteing and new and scary and all of the above. If you've entered into this phase of life already, you know what I mean.

I'm more excited than ever about Wedding Day. I had three wedding nightmares last night. Yes, three. (I visited some old friends and they had me talking about it for three hours, so I think I had wedding on the brain.) But before I woke from each one, there was a time when J and I would look at each other and call each other "husband" or "wife." in one dream, he picked me up and twirled me afterwards (which is TOTALLY not something J would do) and I just felt so elated.

Sorry, I'm a broken record. I know I've blogged about that before. Hee hee. I'm just soooooo excited!

Anyway, this weekend will be a busy one and we won't have internet at our place for a while (GASP, I know!), so my blogging will probably be few and far between for a while. We're hoping to get internet and cable hooked up by the end of January, once I'm working more and have a more stable income. But don't worry, I will keep you all updated.

For now, MERY CHRISTMAS!!!

I'm so Proud of My Kids

I haven't worked with either youth group this semester because of student teaching, so I didn't get to see any of this come about, but check this out:



They pulled this together and performed it this past weekend. They got their inspiration from this video:

Woo hoo!!

I am officially done with school. I turned in my final paperwork on Friday and I found out that I'll probably be getting a check in January for as much as $329!! My housing deposit should all be returned to me as I have never torn up a room or left it a crazy mess. Woo hoo! I spent most of last week moving out of my campus house. This wasn't hard for me, but it was quite a feat to move out my roommate, best friend, and maid of honor Jen. She and her daughter Makenzie have lived in that house since the end of our sophomore year (2006), and she is a pack rat. Oh, man. That was a lot of packing and a lot of late nights/early mornings trying to get her out of the house by our 4:30 deadline on Friday. She didn't make it. And then she found out that our RD isn't even there this weekend because of a family emergency. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? We stressed out about getting her out on Friday for NOTHING??? Grr... Oh, well. She moved back in with her mom, which means a lot of furniture is currently in storage to be moved into J's and my new townhouse. SHe needs somewhere inexpensive to store her stuff and we need our townhosue to not look freaking empty, so it's a win-win deal.

Now that school is over, Jen and I can actually sit down and start planning my bridal shower. She keeps asking me questions about what I want to do and a lot of my answers are, "I don't care." Ha ha. I'm pretty easy going. She's throwing me a recipe shower, where everyone prepares a dish and then brings it, the recipe, and something you need to make it (as the gift). I got the idea off of STLWed a few months back and I thought it was genius. J and I have an astonishing amount of those little gadgets on our registry, so people don't have to buy us our pots or whatever right off the bat. Like, if the recipe calls for a baster or whatever they can get us that. I'm getting real excited, though, especially because the color scheme is what I wanted for the wedding but didn't do 'cause that was one of the things J expressed an opinion on, so I caved. :-) I'm such a good fiancee, aren't I??

I can't believe how fast time is flying by. My school countdown is over, I have 3 days till moving day, and we get married in 2 months and 29 days. Ha. I only know that last one because yesterday was exactly 3 months. :-D

J and I drove down to Memphis this weekend to spend some time with my stepfamily. I haven't been down there in about 6 years and I can't believe how big my youngest cousin has gotten! SHe's 13 now. Holy moly. J and I went to a HUUUUUUGE church on Sunday morning and heard a nice sermon about slowing down and remembering time to reflect on Jesus and rememberring time to enjoy with our families. Slow down amidst all your planning and shopping and just enjoy everryone's company. He used the story of Mary and Martha to illustrate the point, and I loved that correlation. We heard our own pastor preach on Mary and Martha a few months back and I enjoyed hearing the story again from a different approach.

I guess that is all for now. I should post again before CHristmas, but just in case it isn't a substantial one, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Message Board

Most of you know that I'm on a local wedding board here in St. Louis. I love it and all of the girls on it.

Well, there are alwayss those posts after the wedding is over that are like, "What am I going to do now?" This woman dramatizes what those on HER board said. It's way too funny. Thanks to Trisha for digging this up!!

Ok, I lied... Sue Me

I promised a substantial entry a few days ago and haven't gotten to it. I could blame it on Thanksgiving. I could blame it on being out shopping all day Friday. I could blame it on finishing my notebook for students teaching. But, the fact is, I can't 'cause I didn't do any of those things (except maybe the Thanksgiving dinner thing). The reason I haven't written is simple.

Twilight.

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. It's sucked (haha... get it?) me into its clutches. I've finished the first book and am about 2/3 of the way finished with the second. Very well written, even if the 2nd one bored me till now.

Anyway, there isn't a whole lot to report on the front of my life. I applied for two teaching positions which I don't think I'll get, but I gotta start somewhere, right?? I've also started working at the local Christian bookstore. I'm enjoying it, surprisingly. I say surprisingly because A) I've worked retail one other time and I quit after two weeks and B) It's the CHristmas shopping season. But it's a great team. And today I caught up with two people I hadn't seen in a few years!

I'm excited for everything I'm counting down to in my last post. I'm also a little worred about the townhouse issue because I don't have a steady income right now, and while Jerome CAN afford to pay the rent on his own util I'm on my feet, that makes money REAL tight, so I need to find something -- soon!

A good friend of mine is pregnant! She and her husband have been trying for a while and had been having bad luck, so please keep her in your prayers!

It's Advent, which is one of my two favorite times of the year at church (along w/ Lent) because the church is BEAUTIFUL! I will post a picture tomorrow of what our genius worship arts director and decorator came up with. Breathtaking. Makes me jealous of the wedding that was there today -- too bad it couldn't have been mine!

J and I went to Kansas City last weekend to see if this job opportunity with Primerica was something he wanted to pursue. It wasn't, but I did get to see three really good friends of mine (one at the conference and 2 becaus they live and go to school in KC). That was real nice. One friend was a girl from high school whom I hadn't hung out with really since June 2004. I know, very sad. Anyway, she's recently engaged and I had met her fiance (then boyfriend) at her mom's funeral about a year ago and he seemed like a nice guy. He and J hit it off real well. But what cracks me up is how he has changed Katie. not in a bad way, necessarily. Let me put it into perspective. She always said she ould never get married. Their wedding date is May 2010. ha. AND she is a staunch liberal. Like, major Democrat. He's a Republican. It cracks me up, really. But they're good for each other and I can't wait to have more married friends.

I guess that is all for now. Bella, Jacob, and Edward are calling back to their world. See ya later!!

T-Minus

Just in case any of you were wondering...

5 school days left until I'm finished student teaching
17 days till I officially graduate from college
22 days until moving day
3 months, 18 days until the wedding

It's all very exciting!

I promise a substantial entry tomorrow.

And My IQ is...

OK, I take internet IQ tests with a grain of salt. Especially ones which makes me declines 20 pages worht of "free" offers. But this one told me I'm real smart, so I'm going to be an attention whore, LOL.



The URL is free-iqtest.net if you wanted to know. But, like I said, there's about 20 pagesof free offers which you can usually say no to, but there are a few which you have to say yes to at least one; then the next page you can change your answer to no and it's all good.

I'm movin' out!

Jerome and I found a place today. We're moving in on December 18. Woo hoo! If you can believe it, it's in West Pointe, which is the same complex he lived with his cousin David (the one who took his life in March). We scored a 2 bedroom, 1100sq. ft. townhome for $642/mo. yes, you read that right. I'm stoked. I can't wait to live with him. And very shortly after that, I'll be his WIFE!! yay!

Address will be given out to those who need it. (What, you really think I'm dumb enough to put it on the internet??)

What do I Know of Holy?

I know that those of you who read my blog read it for a variety of reasons. Maybe you're my friends/family who like to keep up w/ what's going in my life (and in my head, LOL). Maybe you're an STLWed friend who likes to read just 'cause you have nothing to do. Maybe you like my reflections on my faith, maybe not. If you're in the latter, you might want to just browse away from this post.

Still with me? Great.

A few months ago, my friend Lauren sang a song as our prayer of confession. We rarely do this. I think in the 6 years I've been involved in this church we've had a song as our prayer of confession. but sometimes it works and it's exactly the right avenue to speak with God.

Addison Road wrote this song and included it on their self-titled CD. "What do I Know of Holy?" is a song about how we try to make God fit into our image of what He should be, how we pray and pray but never take the time to listen. It's a song wondering if we'll know Him if He touches our face or looks right at us, would we know Him?

The second verse is poignant to myself, about how so many people learn to talk about His mercy and grace, but do we really believe it, or are they just words ona page? SOmetimes I have to take a step back and ask why I sing int he church band. Sometimes I take a week off simply because often my focus changes from Him to me. He isn't the reason I'm up there some Sunday mornings, sometimes it's me and wanting people to see my talents.

And I often think that that makes me a bad person, like I"m less than a Christian for allowing that to get in the way. but it just makes me human. I desperately want HIM to be my focus. In everything I do and say and think. There is a lot I need to work on, because I'm not perfect.

Here are the lyrics to the song that prompted this post:

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life it's name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

PRESIDENT Obama

I'm never one to raise a stink. I don't bring up politics or who I'm voting for/not voting for unless someone brings it up first because, frankly, it's not really anyone's business. But today I cant ell you that I am proud to admit that I voted for Barack Obama.

I didn't vote for him because he's black. I voted for him because he hass promised the change that this country so desperately needs. I voted for him because he will strive to keep those who can't afford health insurance (like my best friend and her 2 year old) able to go to the doctor. He will cut taxes on those who are already penny pinched and tax those who can afford it. He will work on a plan to get us out of Iraq and out of Afghanistan.

Will he be perfect? No. Nobody is, but I have faith that he has the best interest of the country at heart. He loves America and he will strive to make our country better than it ever has been.

To those who voted for McCain, I give my condolences. I'm sure he would have done a fantastic job. But this country has had enough of Bush and his Republican doctrine. McCain would have been more of the same. I hope we can all band together as Americans -- not Republicans and Democrats -- and support our country.

Rehire Packets... Sigh

Every year I look forward to getting my rehire packet from Girl Scouts. And every year it seems to take longer. And longer. And l-o-n-g-e-r.

Not this year.

It was in my mailbox today. Normally I'd be squealing for joy. But what am I doing? Crying. Well, in my head, but still...

For those not in the loop. I'm getting married next year. In four months. And 11 days. (Not tht anyone's counting...)

Getting married usually = growing up, letting go of childhood. FOr me, that meant letting go of camp. But it's rough. Fourth session closing and post camp this year were emotional. I was saying good bye to my second home, and a family of people I probably never would have even ever spoken to in the real world. But I was okay with my decision. I mean, I'm marrying the greatest guy in the world, that should be enough, right?

Well, recently it started hitting me that I'm not going back. And I'm still okay with it. Or, at least half of me is. There's still that other half that says don't give it up. You're not ready. Meanwhile, the other half says, yes you are. It's like the angel and the devil on my shoulder.

Anyway, I'm not going back. Don't you camp people go getting your hopes up. I will be back -- but as a visitor. Not as an employee. And, really, as sad as I am tossing that rehire packet in the recycle bin, and to say goodbye to Speckles, I'm even more excited to become Mrs. Jerome Hall. New name, new life, new person... Just like at camp.

I'm a 'Porn' Addict

A Wedding Porn addict, that is. It's a term coined by Ariel of Offbeat Bride to describe the obsession that comes with planning a wedding: you jsut want to look at all weddings, all the time!

And it's true!! I stalk local photographer's blogs to find inspiration. I'm addicted to projectwedding.com. I love the forum at STLWed and all the girls (hi ladies!).

So, all you other wedding porn addicts, maybe we should start a 12-step program? Or does it fade once the wedding is over??

I Can't Wait

I was thinking yesterday, after having a great weekend with J, that while I'm excited about the whole wedding thing, what I am most excited about is just becoming his wife. Him becoming my husband. I look forward to supporting each other and seeing each other every morning when we wake up and every night before wee fall asleep. I look forward to the battles I know we're going to have when I bring home all organic food from the grocery store. I am excited for establishing a loving relationship grounded in God, leaning on the example set by CHrist and by so many couples in our church.

I can't wait until I can call him my husband.

And isn't that what I SHOULD be more excited about? I mean, the wedding is a big deal, but honestly if we couldn't afford anything but a courthouse wedding (thanks for the help, Mom!), I would be happy, as long as that meant I would be his wife.

What is your personality type?

And which careers are you best suited for?

Humanmetrics.Com has a personality test created by Jung to determine your personality. You can also find out what career(s) you're best suited for.

I am an ISFJ. That means I am introverted, sensing, feeling, judging.
Other ISFJs include Jimmy Carter, Jane Fonda, and Albert Schweitzer.
Being an ISFJ means that I am a moderately expressed introvert and very expressed judging personality. Good to know.
My jobs include social work, teaching (whew!), religious positions, nursing, paralegal, etc.

What about you???

This is why I love my photographer

She's already posted 11 pictures from yesterday!!! Here are three. If you're on Facebook you can find the rest there...

I LOVE MY PHOTOGRAPHER!!!

We had our engagement picture session this afternoon with our photographer, Kelly Adler of Kelly Adler Photography and I had the greatest time! The weather was great and the colors were fantastic. We took them on Main Street in St. Charles and got some AMAZING shots (at least I think we did... I was on the other side of the lens, LOL). I cannot wait to get the pictures later this week! Stay tuned!!

This makes me feel great about my school choice...

LU's School of Education had its accreditation extended for 7 years. There weren't any discrepancies found in the program AND the state asked to use our paperwork as an example of other schools in the state to use when they're facing accreditation.

So, people may b!tch and moan all they like about LU's lack of social awareness or how crappy financial aid can be, etc... But it's a damn good school. And it makes me proud to be a lion.

Here's the story...

T Minus...

5 months!!!

I get married 5 months from TODAY. Woo hoo!

And I ordered bridesmaids dresses yesterday. They should be in aroun Thanksgiving.

AND we have engagement pictures with our awesome photographer Kelly Adler on Sunday.

Basically, I'm excited for all things wedding this morning. :-)

Life... What Else is There to Say?

It's been two weeks since my lasst update, so I thought I'd write a quick post about what's going on in my life. 'Cause I know that you all are dying to know.

WEDDING: We're almost at the five month mark and I'm starting to get excited. I mean, I was excited before, but my friend got married a week and a half ago and that was the last wedding I'll go to before MINE and I just kept thinking, "It's almost MY TURN!!!" I'm getting giddy. Ha ha. We need to find a reasonably priced baker. That's the last of the big vendors left to book. I bought a veil today from my friend Amanda over on STLWed. We're ordering bridesmaids dresses very soon, once I get the moola from the other 3 who haven't paid me. I've done mock-ups of the invitations and the programs and they're looking pretty good! I'm currently addicted to projectwedding.com for inspiration and I found two pictures -- one of hair and one of a bouquet -- that I am currently drooling over. :-) I've been engaged for over a year and half and I really cannot wait to become Mrs. Hall. J is amazing and I can't wait to become his wife.

STUDENT TEACHING: I LOVE TEACHING. It makes the last four years completely worth it to know that they haven't been in vain. I love being in the classroom. I love helping kids learn. I love making my kids laugh. I love helping them grow. I love it all. What I don't love is lesson planning PLUS writing my standards. ANd I HATE not having a job, but I logistically cannot imagine when I would have the time to work and whether I would be able to handle it, so I'm sticking to sitting jobs which just barely get me by.

CHURCH: We recently did our own Cardboard Testimony at church. Holy. Moly. So emotional, so moving, and it made such an impact. We're int he middle of a series on hope and I hate to say it, but I'm excited for Advent -- the four weeks before Christmas. Advent and Lent are my two favorite times in the church. Christmas and Easter are, like, the whole reason the Church exists, after all. I'm not participating as a youth leader this semester so that I can put all my effort and concentration into student teaching and I miss my kids SO much. I've already found a curriculum I want to do with them next year that has a girls' and a boys' curriculum in addition to a follow-up curriculum. I'm excited about it, and I can't even do it until next September!

I'm not sure what else there is to update on. If I think of anything, I'll post. I promise.

Make an Informed Decision

Whether you support Obama, McCain, are undecided, or support a third party candidate, I am a strong believer that you should know why you're voting the way you choose. I was first able to vote in 32004 and my best friend said she was voting for Bush becuse "my dad would be mad if I voted for Kerry." WTF?? I didn't care that she was voting for Bush, I was mad at why she was voting for Bush.

So, thanks to my friends at STLWed, I present to you, a nonpartisan view at the two major candidates' platforms: where they stand on Iraq, taxes, health care, education, gay rights, gun control, abortion, etc. You want to know what they stand for? Find it here.

Everyone spins things to make them look more appealing and their opponent look incompetent. Check out how true or false those claims are here or here.

The election is in a little over a month, and whomever is elected will determine history. Why are you voting??

Prayers for those in Ike's Path

Those of you who have kept up with the blog for a while know about the two mission trips I have made to southwestern Louisiana. The first was almost a year ago, which is hard to believe. We were helping to build new houses with Habitat for Humanity. We met a nice man named Chester who was a great man to lead the project: good-humored, willing to teach, and excited about what he does.

The second time I went (in February of this year), we were disappointed to not get to work with CHester, but we had the privilege of working to repair damaged houses. We worked in Nick's house in Lake Charles and we worked on a trailer not too far off the coast in Cameron.

Ike was ad. The eye hit near Galveston/Houston, Texas, but the effects were felt even up here in St. Charles (many areas in the metro area are still flooded). It was total devestation to those not only in Texas, but also our friends in Louisiana. Chester's house -- his beautiful, expensive, "hurricane-proof" house was flooded. The original plan was for this current group (only four from our church this time, and not me sadly as I have student teaching) to go and help our friend clean his house, but authorities aren't even letting him to his house. So the four down there are helping out where needed. On monday and Tuesday, they worked in a church with no power. They also took a drive to examine the effects of Ike in the area. And... well... read for yourself...

We worked in a church for the 2nd day that did not have any power. It was like working in a oven!! The temps are in the low 90's today with high humidity! The church was not damaged too bad, just some sea water about 8 - 10 inches up the walls. We are working about 40 miles from the Gulf. After we where done working today we drove down to the Gulf and we can not describe the scene. Everything was gone!! We saw grass on the power lines that was on the top line of a 8 wire power line pole. Long ways up. We saw a house upside down in a canal that was about 30 miles from the coast. We saw thousands of dead fish from the salt water. We found what was left of a trailer house our church worked on last year. The only thing left was the steel frame that was bent like an s shape. Nothing else was left. We had a shrimp fishing boat sitting partly on the road and had to drive around it. It is soo hard to imagine the damage. Cameron LA is basically gone. We saw oil tanks that where pushed off their foundation by the wind. We saw oil tanks in the middle of fields with nothing within sight. After I get back I will post pictures, but the damage is unbelievable. The scary thing is we are sitting about 2-3 hours drive from Houston, and that is all we saw in the news about damage. This is suppose to be far enough away from the eye of the storm they are not suppose to have all this damage.

Please pray for those all of the Gulf region who were hit hard by Ike. To lose all of that is unfathomable to me, only because I have never experienced something of this magnitude personally. But the few people I have met down there are fighters, and as long as there is a home left, they will keep rebuilding. Pray some prayers of thanks for lives that were spared, but also pray some prayers of intercession for those who are now homeless, for the family who lived in the trailer we worked so hard on.

It's heartbreaking to hear about all of this damage. I know that it is all only "stuff" and our real treasure is not here, where rust and moth can claim, but in Heaven, but you can't help but have your heart ache for these people who have lost everything.

May God be with them. May God be with US.

What is Your Cardboard Testimony?

Was shown this video by my fellow high school youth leaders and I felt the urge to share it with you (whomever "you" are). It is a video from a sermon from Hillside Church. I don't know here Hillside is, or what the sermon was about, but it's emotional.



Remember that whoever you are now, wherever you've been, whatever you've done, God never fails to forgive. He can turn your life around.

My card would read "In abusive relationship for three years." "With God's help, I'm working through those issues and getting married to an amazing guy."

What would yours read? I'd love to know... leave a comment.

What a Summer.

I've finally found some time to just sit and write about my summer. Let me start by saying that this was the best. summer. ever. I loved everyone I worked with at camp; everyone became such a great team. I love working with a staff like that. And my kids!!! I miss every single one of them. My favorite part of working with my kids is that they're old enough to care about me, like, as a person, you know?? Like, the younger campers fall in lvoe with you 'cause you're fun and have a good personality, but the CITs can appreciate you for who you are. As a graduation present for me, the CIT 2s made a scrapbook for me of their 2 years as CITs and pictures of my other CIT groups as well as letters from each of them, basically talking about the impact I made on them over the past 2 years. It really meant a lot to me. Talk about an emotional good bye, LOL.

My new group of kids I tried to sort of detatch myself from camp and them since I was trying to set up leaving, but it didn't work, LOL. I got attached to those kids too and while I know they're in GREAT hands (love ya, Bunny!) it makes me so depressed to know that I won't get to watch them finish the program. There were some rocky moments in their bonding time, but in the end, I think they all have realized the beauty of this program -- the sisterhood that develops between the girls in the program.

The last couple of nights were emotional train wrecks for me. luckily, I had my friend Bluegrass right by my side int he same boat as me -- leaving after 6 years as staff and just as many as a camper. It's incredibly difficult to leave a place which means as much to you as camp meant to her and to me. Pre camp and banquet were amazing. Can you say karaoke? ha ha. The food was amazing, we had Bread Co. for breakfast, and we were done around 12. Yes, you read it right: 12. Last year we were finished around 2. But then the tears started all over again 'cause it was really good bye once we had our pay checks. If you're on Facebook, check out my camp albums for pictures.

After camp, we went to Chicago. God, i love that city. It was me, Jerome, and 3 friends from camp. We found a decently priced hotel north of the city and we did a lot of stuff while we were there: Second City, a boat tour, John Hancock, shopping on the Magnificent Mile, Navy Pier, Chinatown... Had a blast! I'll add pictures from that later, I promise.

American Idol auditions were on August 8 in Kansas City -- close enough for me to go. But I didn't. Why? 'Cause I had to start student teaching on the 11th and I had to meet my teacher before then. Yes, I chickened out AGAIN. Why do I keep doing that? Ha ha.

Student teaching, though, is going WONDERFUL. Like, better than I ever could have hoped or imagined. My host teacher is 100% willing to let me jump in and teach when I'm comfortable. I've already taken over Calendar, afternoon read-aloud, and most paper work. I'll take over spelling next week and content (social studies and science) soon after that. Everyone has said that student teaching is time consuming, and I have no dodubt that it is, but with the proper time management skills, I have no doubt that I'll do fine.

As far as wedding plans go, we have bridesmaids dresses!! We picked them out last weekend and we'll be buying them in about a month. One of my maids wants to lose quite a bit of wight before March, so we're waiting as long as we can before we order them. We're meeting with a photographer tomorrow afternoon to talk about possibly negotiating her prices. Our photographer is pregnant and due on March 6 (nice timing, right?? LOL), so we're back at square one. And, perhaps the best news ever: our reception is paid for!! out of the generosity of my mother and stepfather. Aren't they great??

Best. Race. Ever.

Short message 'cause it's late, but I just had to post on this swimming race because it was A-Mazing!!!

The 4x100 men's freestyle relay not only just barely won gold, but they OBLITERATED the world record. New WR is 3:08.24. France came in at 3:08.33. please note that that is .08 of a second. EIGHT ONE-HUNDREDTHS!!!! AND Lezak, the anchor, swam the fastest anchor split EVER. OMG. It was the best race I have ever watched.

Ever.

Rave over.

Don't Worry...

...I haven't forgotten about any of you. I got home from camp this past Saturday, then headed to Chicago Sun-Tues, met up with some girlfriends on Wed, registered at BBB with J on Thurs, and today I'm off to meet my host teacher and move in at school in addition to pricing stuff for tomorrow's garage sale with Jen tonight. HOPEFULLY I will get a breather soon to update you all (with pics!) about my summer.

Hopefully.

It's Been a Long Time...

I've been gone 7 weeks. I have 2 more weeks left. And that's it. I'm going to be a nervous wreck on the last night. But as much as I'm dreading the end, let me recap the beginning.

Precamp started May 31 -- a week earlier than normal, which was weird. I could tell right off that we mostly had a great staff. I knew a few would quit -- they always do and I can always tell who it's going to be -- but for the most part, everyone got along GREAT really quickly.

First session, my kids arrived just as if they'd never been gone. (Let me explaint he Counselor-in-Training program: they come for 4 weeks one summer and then return the following summer the first 4 weeks for the second part of the program.) They were loud and obnoxious, just like always, LOL. Those kids were NUTS!!! Let's see, what did we do first session... one of my girls showed up a week late, to the surprise of everyone there. She had made nationals in rowing and was originally told that she couldn't come a week late, but me and the assistant camp director worked it out and she was able to come -- but we didn't tell any of the other CITs except one who found out and everyone eas way surprised. It was pretty cool. Hmm... Some first session memories... Well, there's the game our sports specialist made up called TIOTT -- Ting it Off the Table -- which is basically like Washers only you try and hit a table about 15 feet away with rocks. He kept making up phrases to describe shot that missed or made it (Like: That's a Mater meant that it totally missed, after my camper Mater who apparently Superman liked to tease).

Second Session was the beginning of the end for my kids. They were one their way to becoming former CITs and that's always a hard experience. but before they did that, they did their internship at another camp in the Council. This was interesting because two camper from our camp showed up there. And, let's just say that they weren't the kind of campers you wanted showing up randomly -- again. ha ha. Bunny, my counselor who shaved her ehad in March for St. Baldric's, was mistaken for a man at Walmart. We made 2 urgent care runs -- one for a "hole" in a leg, one for excessive bug bites. And that was all in the 3 days that we were at the other camp!! Then came graduation night, which is always bittersweet. I love watching my kids grow and take off to become their own people, but I hate saying goodbye, too, which is what happens at 2nd session closing. :-( The next day, they gave me a scrapbook that they had made for me, which brought me to tears 'cause there was a lot of, "Speckles, I love you so much. You've changed my life," blah blah blah. It sounds like I didn't like it, but I loved it. I've looked at it quite a few times since I got it.

Third session brought in a new group of CITs. And it's an interesting group, I'm not gonna lie. It's a verry eclectic group, to say the least. We have private, public, and home schooled girls, girls who like theatre, girls who like to dance, girls who like the Ham Radio, girls who are just plain weird, LOL. They're a great group of kids, and that's the coolest thing about the CIT program: you can throw girls of all different backgrounds and they'll start out as strangers, but come out on the other side in 8 weeks as sisters. Oh, how I love CIT-hood. Anyway, These kids have given me some laughs, too, like when one of the campers knocked our shower curtain rod for our door onto another camper. And one fo the girls is terrified of wasps: "Code Six!" And, of course, I still have Bunny, who will take my place next year as CIT Director.

Ready for some pictures of my first 7 weeks at camp? Here are some, minus pictures of my new girls because that's against personnel policy:

We had to build a building out of cups. This is my team building group's building.
Mater and Rhythm dressed the part on Superhero Wednesday
On our bike ride to the barn
Disney Wednesday!!


As for wedding plans, those have kind of taken a break while I've been gone, but I can successfully report on 3 things: 1. My dress is all MINE. It's hanging in my closet and everything. Woo hoo!! 2. My mom's friend is doing our flowers, so it's gonna cost less than $200. Cha-Ching! And 3. We booked our DJ this afternoon. It's only about $150 for the whole night for him. Sa-weet!

Post Camp plans include: A three-day trip to Chicago with J, Ariel, Bunny, and Sunny. I meet with my ST host teacher on August 6, then start student teaching on August 11 (eek!!), BM dress shopping at some point, plus helping Jen gett the house ready for me to move in. Whew!! I can't believe it's almost August. WHere has the year gone? I get married in 7 months and 25 days! (Not that I'm counting...)

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I Love Ya, Tomorrow!

Tomorrow I leave for my last summer at camp. This is kind of bittersweet. Jerome says I'll be back; so does the camp director. Well, I may return, but not next year. Next year I want to be married to my husband. I want our first summer married to be one of us doing stuff married people do, LOL, not a summer of me being gone fo rnine weeks and only home every other weekend.

For those of you who are new to my world, I started attending this Girl Scout Camp in Pevely when I was 8 years old. It was kind of one of those things where my parents said, "Wanna try this?" And I shrugged and said, "Sure." Ha ha. Then it kind of snowballed from there. I went every summer from then on, even getting my best friend involved. We were COunselors-in-Training (CITs) together the summers we were 15 and 16, and while she didn't return after that due to an unpleasant experience, I did. I was a lifeguard for three years and then I took over the program that I had loved so dearly -- the CIT program.

I love working with my girls. It's so much fun getting them in July the first year and watching them learn, and then getting them again in June the next year and watching them GROW -- as youong women, as role models, as counselors. They're always a fun bunch and I'm sad that I have to leave my group of CIT 1s that I will start this year. CIT-dom is... sacred. You mock, but that's the way a lot of us loko at it. Those of us who fell in love with camp and counted down to the next summer we got to go from the day we got home (not even kidding) dreamed about being a CIT. THey were the cool older girls who sang at meal times and helped out the counselors every now and then. And the girls you're a CIT with, they're called 'sisters" for a reason. YOu learn so much about the other girls you're in training with; yoou live with them, you love them; you learn what makes them tick. You create memories that could last a lifetime.

And it's not just your CIT Sisters this happens with. I have friends from camp who were never CITs, but they fit in just the same. In the age of Facebook and e-mail, it's so much easier to keep in touch with friends you make at camp, and as a result, you stay closer to them. You see them when they're in town.

People ask me why I'm 22 and still work at camp -- Girl Scout Camp, nonetheless. It's simple, really. This is a place that was almost cheap therapy for me. When my parents divorced when I was ten, it was here that I could let it all go and not worry about putting on a strong front for my brother. It was here that Irealized I needed to just be myself. It was here that I found myself. Camp is not just a place: it's a state of mind; it's a refuge. I go back year after year after year because it's another home to me. It's done so much for me that I almost have to repay it somehow.

I realize that I spent most of this post talking about the people of camp and the emotional environment and didn't touch on the landscape: the rolling hills, the lake, the meadows, the effect that millions of lightning bigs have on a hillside at night. I figure the beauty of these things go unspoken. I wouldn't keep returning to a place that I thought was ugly. It's peaceful. It's awe-inspiring. It helps me connect with God.

Anyway, I leave tomorrow which means I won't be updating for a while, but I will post on my weeekends home and let you know how I'm doing. I may even post some pics. I wanted to post some pictures of little me at camp and of the camp itself, but my scanner isn't working.

R.I.P. Maria Sue Chapman

On Wednesday afternoon, the five year old daughter of Christian music artist Steven Curtis Chapman was accidentally struck by the family SUV as her older brother backed out of the driveway. They buried Maria yesterday, about two weeks after her fifth birthday. I can't imagine how the family could be dealing with this loss, especially when they were also celebrating their oldest daughter's engagement and their oldest son's high school graduation. Please keep this family in your thoughts and prayers over the coming weeks.


The Chapman family (Maria is sitting on daddy's lap).

I saw Narnia

And I have a new crush:

That is Ben Barnes, who plays Caspian. He is H-O-T. J won't mind that I have a celeb crush, and I'm declaring my love here and now, LOL. He did great as Caspian, even though he's a little too old (in the book, Caspian is, like, 12), had the movie stayed true to the book.

As for the movie itself, I loved it. There was one particular instance that really made me mad because of the stray from the book (for those who have seen it... in the tomb...), but overall it was amazing and it didn't feel like a long movie. I'm so surprised at how all fo the kids have grown. Little Georgie Henley (Lucy) is no longer little, and has gotten rid of that slight lisp she had in the first movie. Anna Popplewell (Susan) is absolutely beautiful. My roommate has an issue w/ her "Angelina Jolie" lips, but I love her face. Skandar Keynes (Edmund) has grown so much he almost doesn't look like the same kid! And William Moseley (Peter)... Wow-o-wow. I don't think Ben would mind if I placed a picture of my other Narnia hottie on here. Never mind. I can't find a decent pic just yet. But when I find one, I will post one 'cause Peter was a babe!!

And, last but not least, one of the best shots of the whole movie:

Flickr

I saw this post on Aimee's blog and thought it was interesting.
The rules are simple:

1. Go to http://www.flickr.com/.

2. Type your answer to each question in the “search” box.

3. Using only the first page, pick an image.

4. Copy and paste the picture into your blog.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. What is your first name?


2. What is your favorite food?


3. What high school did you attend?


4. What is your favorite color?


5. Who is your celebrity crush?


6. What is your favorite drink?


7. What is your dream vacation?


8. What is your favorite dessert?


9. What do you want to be when you grow up?


10. What do you love most in life?


11. What is one word to describe you?

(The honesty part, people, come on...)

I Hate money.

And overdraft fees.

Where is my rebate check?

The end.

My Wedding Dress and Agape

I found my dress on Friday. I'm not going to post pictures, though (sorry... wanna maintain that awe factor... trust me, it's killing me not to, too). I can tell you that it is a halter top, ivory, and simple in an elegant sort of way. Which, if you know me at all is TOTALLY my style. There's no beading or rhinestones or anything on it, though I'm looking for a brooch to use instead of this stupid flower that's on there. But it will be fun getting my accessories; looking for things which will accent my dress and can be a little more blingy, so to speak, than I would get if my dress had beading and stuff on it.

The best part? I'm spending less than $400. Is that tacky to tell you? Well, I don't care. I love finding a bargain. Ha ha.

Yesterday, J and I went to Agape Fest in Greenville, IL. It was a lot of fun but sooooo windy. I kept a blanket wrapped around me most of the day. I loved hearing Storyside:B for the first time live, and the Afters. But my favorite, of course, was BarlowGirl. Here's what I love about them: They are so honest on stage. I really feel like what I'm seeing is not an act. When they talk about God they are serious about it. They aren't just challenging us to be a voice without doing it themselves, or without having Scriptural back up (in this case, it was 1 Peter 2:9). And while they played the same set that they did 3 months ago at winter jam, it was still amazing. They do this medley (the "Love Medley" as I like to call it) where they sing "I Believe in Love," "I Need You to Love Me," and "I Could Sing of Your Love Forever." It's always an amazing worship set and I gotta be honest... it moved me to tears last night. A-mazing.

I will post pictures later. Now, I gotta get ready for church.

God is So Good! (And a PSA...)

A friend of mine, Whitney, on the STLWed boards went through a hard time this week. Her best friend has been suffering from cystic fibrosis all of her life. She was admitted to Barnes this weekend and told that she wouldn't be leaving without a new set of lungs. You can read the whole story on Whitney's blog.

Anyway, Wednesday afternoon, her mother signed papers to get her officially put ont he donor list. She must have been a high priority on the list, and God must have really been listening to all the prayers going up to Him, because at 12:30 AM, the doctor came and told Jessie's friends and family that a set of lungs was on its way. EIGHT HOURS LATER!!! What an amazing God we have. The surgery went well; they'll wean herr off the ventilator today.

Her journey isn't over, of course... she still has the risk of rejection in addition to a lot of rehab. So please pray for Jessie, Whitney, and everyone involved in this praise-worthy occassion.

Also, remember the family of the donor in your prayers, too. After all, these lungs belonged to someone and while I know Jessie and her family are grateful, there is a family out there mourning. But they did something courageous after discovering that their loved one was gone: they donated. Are you a donor?

If not, you can be. In Missouri, you need to register to become a donor. You can that by goiong to the online registration site. In Illinois, there is also a donor registration site (according to new IL law, registering on this site is legally binding; they do not need youor spouse/parent/child's permission). For all other states, please Google "become an organ donor in..." and find out how you can become a hero, even after you're gone. And please, don't foroget to tell your family members. It is essential that they know your wishes so that they can be carried out.

Organ donation is one of those causes that I have always cared a lot about. You can save so many lives. Think about it: you're got 2 lungs, 2 kidneys, 1 heart, 1 liver, 1 small intestine, 1 large intestine, 1 pancreas, 2 eyes, and your skin. You don't need that when you're lying in a box in the ground, why not give it all to someone who vitally needs it?

Someone like Jessie...

Fun Day At the Zoo

Tasha gets a double discount every three months from build-a-Bear, so we decided to "play hookie" and go to the zoo. Jerome, Jen, and Makenzie joined us and we had a great day! Poor Jen had knee surgery two and a half weeks ago and by the end of the day she was in a lot of pain, but it was definitely a blast. Pictures? Of course!

Just a few teasers... You can see the whole lot of 'em in my Facebook album.

Anyway:

Makenzie got a Hippo. Jen named it Hillary and put it in a tutu.


In front of the Penguin House. IT was cold!


Isn't this a fabulous picture of Jerome and Makenzie?


The highlight of Kenzie's day was the insectarium. She loved that place!!

Hope you enjoyed! I sure did...

Good News!! (Cue "Wicked" Chords)

I took my PRAXIS last month. It's a big scary test I have to pass in order to student teach (according to LU standards). When I signed up for the March date, I also signed up for the APril date (saves me the $50 registration fee), knowing that if I passed in March I would get my $80 back for the April date. I walked out very confident that I did well but over the last few weeks I've been worried that maybe I didn't do as well as I thought.

But I got this in the mail today:


Woo hoo!!!

So, to celebrate, I bought this:


And some of these to celebrate with my roommate and suite mate:


What a good day.

Bummed

Michael Johns was AMAZING this week. Tasha loved his Steven Tyler scream. Syesha and Kristy should have been gone before he was. Grr... America got it wrong. Simon said it wasn't the right song, which I completely disagree with; I thought it was amazing. I didn't think he was going to win, but I thought he would last longer than this.

Not to mention that I got NO points this week in my AI pool.

Obama is the man...

I don't normally post this close together (I just posted last night), but Kristal mentioned Obama's transcript in her blog and I checked it out. One of my pastors and another woman were talking about it at David's wake a week and a half ago, and they said he was so eloquent.

Well, lemme tell ya, had he not already had my vote, he would have gotten it after I read this speech. It was a speech made in response to the comments of his pastor, Rev. Jeremiah White, and it calls on us as Americans, noot white or black or Hispanic or Asian or Native American, but people who live in and love this country, to be the catalyst for change.

If you have a few moments, read his speech. It's amazing.

And, in case you were wondering, here is the Rev. Wright's comments that caused such an uproar:


And here is the video of Obama's speech in response to that, the transcript of which I linked to above. (It's a long speech.)


Listen, whether you agree with my particular political affiation or not (I'm an independent and vote for who I think will do the best job), something has to change in this country. Can it be achieved in the four to eight years this man might be president? Probably not, but we can make significant strides forward if we would all just get over ourselves and our pity parties and ouor "holier than thou" attitudes and just love each other. Respect each other.

Spring Fever

How come I have motivation out the butt to do my smaller assignments due later in the semester but can't get motivated to write the two big papers I have due in a few weeks? Grr... Seriously, though. I have 4 of the 6 assignments finished for SS Methods and I have 2 of 4 of my reading assignments finished. But my Theology and my Fairy Tale papers? I have barely even cracked a book. I'm a slacker.

Perhaps it's because I have wedding on the brain. I went shopping with my Maids this weekend and we found 2 dresses that we all LOVE. They kept looking to me for approval and I was like, "Listen. I gave you my requirements on the color. What you all pick is upto you." but it wasn't stressful AT ALL. It was a whole lot of fun, actually. And I can't wait to do it again. :-) I also tried on a few dresses for myself and found one that I LOVE. I won't post a picture, though, because I want people to be surprised, if that's the one I pick. :-) I also met with 3 florists over the last week. I've decided that my bouquet will be white tulips with dark blue delphinium. The girls will have white tulip bouquets. Jerome's bout will be a white tulip w/ csome delphinium and the other groomsmen will be just a white tulip. The ushers and dads will wear white sweetheart roses. The moms and musician will wear a white sweetheart rose(s) with delphinium. Exciting! And we've decided on our photog: Janie Wilkens, a woman we go to church with. Things are starting to come along and I still have 11 months! Who ever said wedding planning was stressful? (Watch, I'll be FREAKING OUT 10 months from now!)

I can't wait for camp. Tasha and I are obsessively talking about it all the time. It's only 8 1/2 more weeks. Yay!

Bite Back

I weent to a youth leaders' conference today at a church on Tesson Ferry by Youth Specialties. It wass a great time; not only did I buy a lot of books and learn a lot of stuff, but I learned about Compassion International's Bite Back campaign. Their goal is to help get rid of Malaria on the African continent by supplying bug nets and education to as many people as they can. For only $10, you help provide a net, education on the prevention, and medical treatment for those afflicted. All you have to do to donate is CLICK HERE.

$10. That's a night at the movies.

Think about it.

Happy Easter!

Christ the Lord is risen today, Aaaaaaaa-le-lu-ia.

That's one of the songs we sing in church every Easter Sunday. If you sing it at your shuch you know that the song is crazy high. That fact is probably the only thing I don't like about Easter: All our songs are freakin' high!! I'm actually not singing set during worship this morning 'cause i have a powerhouse solo after the sermon and I want to deliver. :-)

I remember when I was a kid, waking up and going to look for Easter eggs in the backyard. The "Easter Bunny" had hidden them in the night, and there wass almost always, without a doubt, one on top of our old, rusty shed that I could always see from my parents' bedroom window. But, of course, I was too small and my giant of a father would have to either lift me up to get it or get it for me. I also remember going to an Easter Parade downtown -- barely, though; I think most of that memory comes from a picture we have of me waving to the Easter Bunny.

But my favoroite memory was my first real Easter. The first where I truly believed that my Lord and Savior had indeed died and then risen on the third day. Only those of you who have gone through that really know what I'm talking about. It's like my first real Christmas. The whole day just takes on a new light because of faith in Jesus. So today, as you're celebrating, remember the real reason. It's not the eggs and the candy and the cute little animals associated with it like this (even though they are soooo cute!!):


It's the amazing love and grace that God has for every single one of us. He loves us so much that He came to earth as a human being and took on every single one of our sins.

Hallelujah, indeed.

Apparently, I was tagged... Twice.

I never know when people comment on my stuff. I just always thought people read it but then didn't leave any comments. ha ha. Imagine my surprise when I saw that I was tagged (TWICE, no less) about a week and a half ago. I wasn't ignoring it, folks. Just didn't notice. So here are the rules when you get tagged: Link to the person who tagged you. Post the rules on your blog. Share seven random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog. Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs. Leave a comment on their blogs so that they know they have been tagged! I was tagged by both
Amanda and Abi. (Holla to the STLWed Girls!!) SO I guess that means I have double duty... Can I eve think of 14 things? We'll see...

1. I am amazingly calm about this whole wedding thing. Like, I know I should be freaking out about how the heck we're going to pay for everything, but we keep finding connections and keep getting offered free services by friends, and I know that God is so good and He will provide for all our expenses.

2. I have been going too the same campf or 16 years. Most people who have known me for a long time know this about me. but did you know that I'm terrified to stop? It's like an addiction -- a good addication, mind you, but an addication nonetheless. It has helped mold me into who I've become and I've met some of my best friends there that leaving that whole chapter of my life behind scares the Hell out of me.

3. I desperately want to go to seminary for a Master's in theology. I want to be youth cooordinator at my church and plan all the events and stuff. It's funny to hear me say this when 6 years ago when I was a youth I didn't even trust int he Lord. It's amazing the wonders He can work in your life, isn't it?

4. I secretly dream to be in a Christian rock band ont he bass guitar and vocals. Shh. Don't tell anyone.

5. On top of my dreams to be a teacher, youth pastor, and Christian recording artist, I want to be a mom. I know I can't handle it now financially, but I want a baby. Seriously. Anytime you need a sitter, let me know.

6. Even though I want to be a mom, I'm terrified I'll be a terrible one. I'm good with the infants and the toddlers, but what happens when they get older? I ahve a hard time entertaining them at that age. And I don't want to be a mom who just shoves her kids in front of the TV all the time, but sometimes when I babysit I'm glad for some peace and quiet while the kids' minds melt. (I'm a terrible person!)

7. I love Guitar Hero. I don't think this helps my rock star dreams one bit. I really wish they would release a CHristian Rock pack. That would be sweet!

8. I'm mostly secure with my body. I know I could lose a few pounds (and I would love to get rid of the mountains that are my breasts) but it's not too bad. I love my hair (when it's straight), I don't have an acne problem, and I'm comfortable with that overlap of my two front teeth.

9. Up until David's death this week, I have never experienced the death of a friend. The few people I've known who died were old and sick and it was almost a relief that they died. But with David, who was so young and such a good guy, it's hard for me ot deal with because it's such a new experience. (I mean, my dog died in September and that was hard, but I didn't feel as awful as I do about david because BG was old and sick...)

10. I have a tendency to get stuck on movies or sonogs or TV shows or books. I mean obsessive stuck. I'll listen to a new CD over and over and over. With a TV show that I really love, like Gilmore Girls, I will buy eveyr season ono DVD and have it all memorized. YOu could ask me a question about when something happened and I will be like, "It's in episode so and so when such and such was going on." It's terrible. (For example, I'm currently obsessed with Sara Bareilles' "Love Song") See the video here (unfortunately the actual video can't be embedded, so here she is on Craig Ferguson:

11. I am a picky eater. not terribly picky, but I don't like my foods to touch. I haven't touch fish (other than tuna salad) since I was ten and cut into a piece of fish and it was BLUE inside, I hate broccoli becacuse it stinks, and I woon't eat things like peas or beans because the texture grosses me out.

12. I really really really want to have a Habitat honeymoon and go down to Louisiana and build some houses after I get married. How cool woudl that be??

13. I love how close my roommate and I are with our suitemates. I'm 3 years oolder than all of them, too, which is another reason why our bond surprises me. I'm liek the big sister. They've really beent here for me, too, the last few days, when I've needed someone to talk to when I start crying out of no where.

14. I'm very surprised that STLWed girls actually read my blog. SOmetimes I feel like I"m not part of that whole group other than posting, which is mostly my fault 'cause I never make it to the gt togethers. But the few comments I have on here are from the girls. (I guess Google Reader really helps, too!)

I have no idea who I'm going to tag. I would hate to tag someone who has already been tagged, but here we go: Heather, Carrie, Rhonda, Sarah, Christie, Melissa, and Brigid.

What a Week

David is dead. Every time I think of the finality of that, it makes me cry harder than I probably already am. I think of normal things like what I have at Jerome's apartment and then i think of David's room, now empty of everything. That really gets me, too. how would you like to live in an apartment where a kid killed himself? I don't know that I would, honestly. And I'm sure that apartment will stay empty for a while because legally the complex has to own up to it.

I think, as far as the stages of grief go, I'm kind of hovering in between depression and anger. To be honest, I'm pissed beyond belief that David did this. Why didn't he talk to someone? Anyone? What the hell was wrong with him that we didn't notice? Why would he choose a path so selfish and leave everyone behind in so much pain? And how the hell do you muster up the courage to pull a trigger on a gun or swallow an excessive amount of pills or slice your wirsts or jump off of a bridge or however else people kill themselves, knowing that it is the last thing you will ever do? And I'm mad that the funeral is during our Easter festival. hasn't he interrupted our lives enough? I need that escape and now I don't have it.

But maybe that is selfish on my part. I want to be there, of course, to pay respects and to be with my family. I need to be there. But I need to be able to do something just for me, too. Something not related to suicide and David and funerals.

Jerome is not doing too well with everything. He never talks about anything. He blew up yesterday at stuff his mom was doing and vented about it to me, which was god; at least he was blowing off some steam, however misdirected it was. He needed to oget soemthing out. It's this that angers me most of all. The mourning of everybody. I know people all mourn differently. I prefer to cry about it. But Jeroome keeps it bottled in. And I'm not pressuring him to talk about it right now because he needs some time to process and adjust, but I hope that he will talk to somebody. Anybody. Me, Sue, his mom, a girl at work, Christina. God would be great, too, but sometimes you need that physical contact: a hug, an arm around you. SOmeone saying, "I know it hurts, but it will be alright."

Things may never be normal again; we'll begin to go on living our lives and while we won't forget David, his memory won't be quite as vivid or painful as it is in these last few days. I just hope that eventually, somehow, with the help of God, it will be alright.

R.I.P. David

Jerome's cousin killed himself yesterday morning.

This was the cousin that Jerome shared an apartment with. Thankfully, Jerome was not the one who found him, but he now needs to try and get out of his lease; I don't blame him. He can't swing $600/month's rent and even if he could why would he want to stay? As far as grieving, he's being Jerome -- stoic and quiet. THe only time I saw him shed a tear yesterday was when his mother called.

The whole family is shocked. I'm shocked. J and I JUST saw him on Sunday afternoon and he seemed fine. Neither of us ever picked up on any depression symptoms. And I know about all the "signs of depression" or "Symptoms of suicidal thoughts." And you know what? I saw none of them. None of us saw any of it. Does that make us blind or does that make David a really good faker? Or did something just snap inside him? I guess these are questions that will never be answered. For now we're all grieving the loss of a bright 21 year old with such potential.

What went wrong??

Yay for good weather!!

I LOVE the weather we had yesterday. I wanted to cancel my sub job and go to Forest Park or something. I can't wait till it's like that ALL THE TIME!!! Flip flops, skirts. And, of course, with nice weather comes CAMP. I'm sad that this is my last summer, but I'm super excited because it's going to kick butt. Great staff, great counselor, great kids. Bittersweet ending, of course, but I'm excited. Tasha and I have started calling each other "Speckles" and "Rosethorn" because we're campsick.

I applied for my housing on tuesday and I'm living with Jen again! Well, hopefully; she's having knee surgery and she might be living in an apartment instead so that Matt and her dad and stepdad can help her out with Kenzie and everything. If noot, then I will either live at home or I will live in a house with Tasha and some of her friends. So either way it's taken care of, but if I'm a commuter, then I won't be able to do work and learn which means I have to pay almost $4000 next year. Yuck.

My trip to Chicago was a lot of fun. Jerome and I went to the aquarium on Friday and walked around the city on Saturday. We ate at Gino's and at Portillo's. We took the El and busses everywhere. I auditioned for Gospel Dream. It was a lot of fun. I will soono have my pictures up on Facebook which I will link to here.

Is Winter Over Yet?

A friend of my roommate's decided to apply to be nature director at camp, so Tasha and I started going on about camp. She and I have been so campsick recently. It usually hits me around March, so it's right on time. It's hard that this is my last summer, but I think it's going to be amazing. I have a counselor all summer so I can "train" her to take my place next year. I'm hoping that I can also have Rosethorn for at least half of the summer -- that would make an AMAZING staff at Manor. :-)

I leave for Chicago in the morning for my audition for Gospel Dream. I'm sooooo excited but soooooo nervous. I know that Jerome and I are going to have a blast and I can't wait for our sight seeing at the planetarium and the aquarium. I'll post pictures tomorrow night.

What College Kids do on Snow Days...

My roommate, suitemate, and I were surfing around YouTube today and found some videos I would like to share:

1. The First Semester of Spanish Spanish Love Song:


2. The second is a random video about llamas who got scared out of their resting shed when about 14 inches of snow fell from off of the roof. I thought it fitting to post considering the blizzard we got today:


3. And, of course, one of my favorites EVER, the Snoopy video from www.thebunnyshed.co.uk:

Thoughts on American Idol this Week...

...I was surprised that Alaina was voted off. I thought she had a very strong voice for such a young girl. She chose an awful song; that's what did her in. I honestly doon't think many of the girls chose very good songs. Although Brooke did great with Carly Simon's "Your So Vain." But I really wish we would vote off Amanda. I don't like herr voice and I hate her hair. I think she is really nice; what they've shown of her personality seems genuinely nice and authentic, but I don't like her as a singer. But she'll probably stick around for a while because she's the resident rocker. **EDIT** I just watched the clip of Alaina's elimination and Kady was as shocked as everyone else that SHE wasn't going home. And poor Alaina. She's so young and has so far to go; I hope that she doesn't give up. **END EDIT**
As for the boys, Chikezie, who I thought was awful last week and was sure to go home, did really well this week; he surprised me. I big puffy heart David Cook; I think he's more of a rocker than Robbie is (was). And David Archuleta blew my mind with his take on "Imagine." That was a performance that has stirred up a lot of opposing opinions; Lennon truists think he ruined it. But I LOVED it. I loved it so much i thought I would share the video:



I knew Jason Y. was off, though. He was boring and too showy. Simon hit the nail on the head last week (when he sang "Moon River") when he said it was like a cruise ship performance. Glad he's gone...

I'm excited for next week, though... Anyone know the theme?

So, You Wanna Know About My Trip????

This trip was amazing. I wrote last Monday night how nice of a guy Nick was and the rest of our week was amazing, too. We worked on Nick's house in Lake Charles for Monday and Tuesday, working on getting it livable for him and his family. Lots of painting and caulking for us gals while the boys did a lot with plumbing, doors, and other things in the kitchen. Half of us worked there on Thursday. I learned how to use a Miter Saw and actually cut a corner!! Here is my corner that I'm very proud of. Ain't it perty??


On Wednesday we went to Cameron Parish, literally 300 yards from the Gulf, to work on a trailer. This family came home after Rita to find their mobile home in a U shape. They got $7000 from FEMA and bought what they could -- another trailer which had weathered the storm. We tore up her bathroom tile to lay new flooring, both her toilets to replace them, put in new a new counter and cabinets, and I learned how to use a Jigsaw to cut beaded paneling that we hung in the kitchen. I want to note our drive to Cameron. We drove past so many foundations with nothing on top of them, stairs that led to nowhere. Warehouses where the walls had caved in but the framings till remained. Boats on land with no water in sight. It doesn't hit you, really, that people lost everything until you see that. It doesn't matter what you see on the news. TO see that IN PERSON is... humbling.

Anyway, for pictures, here is the link to my Facebook album. You should be able to view it, but if not please leave a comment and I will fix it. Check out my pictures here. I had so many I needed another album.

Touching Lives

I hate to say it, but last time I was in Louisiana, while I had a great time, I didn't feel like we really touched someone's life. I mean, we helped out Miss Mary by buying her a Walmart gift card, but nothing like I experienced today.

We aren't working on a Habitat house. Instead, we're helping out a man who is an employee of the United Way whose house was almost destroyed in the hurricane. He and his wife and 2 daughters are of middle income and probably wouldn't qualify for a Habitat house even if they wanted to. After the storm, only one room in their house was still liveable; their roof was falling apart from mold, their floor was molded... It took a long time for them to fix it back up; meanwhile they are living in a house just next door with a $1000/month rent. They received federal grant money to fix their house, but Nick, the father, is a construction coordinator, so while he was taking care of other people's houses, his own kept falling deeper and deeper into disrepair.

Enter Christ's Church. A lot of the work has been done already: he has a new roof, a new floor; most of the tiles int he kitchen has been laid, most trim and doorframes are up. We arrived this morning and immediately got to work doing electric work, plumbing, painting, caulking,etc. Nick popped in occasionally to chekc on our progress and was amazed each time. Here's what I learned about Nick this evening during devotions:

Nick had spent many many nights tryingto fix the house and fell into a deep time. He was drinking a lot and hadn't been to church in weeks; he had lost hope. How could God still care about him? Then he lucked out and Habitat allowed our group of 15 to work on his house (he has to be out by this Saturday or pay another month's rent). After dropping us offand showing us around, telling us what needs to be done, he left to go back to the office. He didn't return again until lunch, by which time we had put up 3 more door ways, primed most of the surfaces, installed a bathtub and sink, laid the rest of the tile int he kitchen, changed outlets... He said he cried going back to the office. We showed him that God still cared about him, despite his time in the "pit" that he had been feeling.


you never really know if what you're doing makes an impact. Our simple gesture to come down here and devote our time to his house made a monumental impact. I'm thankful that GOd allowed me to be a part of it.

Oh so cute!!!

I couldn't help but share this story that was on channel 5 last night. Married 79 years?! Holy Moly! They are soooo cute; they must have the greatest stories. I would imbed it here, but KSDK doesn't give us the capability to do that...

So Watch it Here.

The Writers Strike is OVER!!!

The WGA approved a new contract on Tuesday which means shows will be coming back. Sweet. I was missing my Desperate Housewives night with Tasha. Of my favorite shows, all will be coming back in April for at least 4 episodes: Housewives for 7 (hopefully), and Grey's for 4 or 5. Hmm... I remember when Gilmore Girls was on that list. :-( How I miss my Girls.

In other news, I head to Louisiana again on Saturday. There are 15 of us going this time, including Jerome. It's going to be pretty much amazing. I will blog throughout the trip, and maybe even post some pictures if the computers at the housing center will detect my card reader...

One Year Older, One Sick Fiance.

For those of you who don't know, my birthday was Friday. I am now 22 years old. 22 is boring; nothing special happens. Except that your mom buys you "grown up clothes" (thanks Mom!!) because you don't have that many. She took me to Fashion Bug and got me some really cute tops and a pair of black dress pants.

Unfortunately, while I was out shopping Jerome was coming down with that bug going around. He's running a small fever and is coughy. I bought some meds and a thermometer and came over. I'm sitting on his couch as I type this, my phone by my side in case he needs anything (his roommate works nights, so he would be alone otherwise).

Let's see, what else is new? Not too much. School is going rather well; I'm keeping up with my readings and I'm halfway finished with a short essay due on Tuesday. It should be a good semester.

And, of course I'm super excited about Louisiana. We leave on Feb. 16. J and I and 2 other people might be leaving waaaaaaaay too early on Saturday to make the drive on Saturday because we need to check in on Saturday; otherwise we'll leave on Saturday morning, stay the night somewhere in Louisiana and then heading to Lake Charles on Sunday afternoon, stopping at the Tabasco factory on the way there. I can't wait.

Wendy, my suitemate froom Louisiana, experienced her first snow this weekend. And waht a snow, right?? SHe went sledding with friends and built a snowman with her roommate. She also fell four times. She just needs to learn how to walk on the ice. But she loves the snow. :-)

All for now. Have to finish that essay.

Only 27 Days!!

Until My next Louisiana trip!! I had so much fun lasst time I went and I'm gettign excited to go again. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to go because it's more expensive than last time. I put in an application to our Putting People into Missions fund for $50 of the $25 but haven't heard anything yet, but Kathy and some other women and even Steve (the man basically "in charge" of it all) said not to worry about it, so I'm covered either by PPIM or by generous friends (this is why I LOVE my church!). And wanna knoow what else is exciting? Jerome is going, too!! As long has his request for PTO for that week is approved (which it will) he is game. Yay! Like last time, we're leaving on Saturday the 16th around 9AM. We'll stay in Hammond, LA for the night and go to church in the area, then begin the 4 hour drive west to Lake Charles, stopping at the Tabasco factory near Baton Rouge on our way. THen we'll work Monday-Thursday and spend ALL of Friday (and I do mean ALL... it's a looooooooong drive back to St. Louis) driving back home.

I am so excited for this trip. I have a lot of people that I'm close to going this time. Don't get me wrong I had a great time with the group I went with last time but it was a group mostly made up of people I hadn't spoken to a whole lot at church, moostly only in passing. but this time Kathy is going and Jerome and Kelly. Leanne and Mary and Charles are goiong again. And we'll hopefully get to work with Chester again. He's a fantastic work leader. I hope he's ours again. He's just a character.

I leave you with a few pictures from my last trip. Enjoy!